Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Florida will always have a piece of my heart

Okay so here I am in Florida after a year and a half of living on the tiny island of Okinawa. I was so glad to finally get here after 5 long days of travel. Sure I got to go to places I've never been (Guam, Hawaii) but dang it took forever. I was glad to get back to Walmart, Cato, and the restaurants. The money I have already spent is crazy. I bought almost a whole new wardrobe, but if you could see the options I have over there you would know why I have to buy so much here. I have at least one more trip to Old Navy before I leave. Love that Old Navy!! So I have already been here for a week and a half. It has flown by. I feel like I am running out of time and am not going to see everyone that I intended to. Sure I could be visiting with someone now but here I am blogging in a quite house alone (my mom is at work). My cousin, Jessica, and I were discussing last night how we have become more of loners now that we are older. I still like to be around people but I don't do the whole social scene like I used to. I guess I could blame that on my husband, but that would be wrong. I choose to not be very social, I have no one to blame but myself. My reasons for that would be a whole different blog in itself. So anyway back to FLORIDA, coming here is both happy and sad for me. Too many memories. Being in Freeport I find myself remembering my grandparents and it kills me. Thinking of them still makes me tear up and in this town they are everywhere to me. I find myself remembering when my family actually hung out as a family and didn't have fights that weren't over in a few hours. I'm not saying we didn't have our problems, but things were just easier then. I guess that could be because I was younger and oblivious to it. Who knows? I remember the friendships I had that are over now. So as happy as I am to be here, I can't help but feel depressed. It's bittersweet I guess. Being in Crestview was a bit happier for me, but only because I still talk to those friends and met my husband there. However, there were sad moments there too. I hate that coming back to Florida has to be somewhat negative for me. I have had so many good times here that I will always remember, I guess that's what makes me sad. I don't know if I will ever live here again, due to Nick's job, but I do know I will always have to come back every once in a while. My son is buried here and that alone will always have me running back.

1 comment:

Sandi McBride said...

Darling Girl, where ever your heart is, that is where your son is. I know you know that, but sometimes it makes it more real to hear it "out loud". You write beautifully. Stop blushing now, or I'll just pick the phone up and make you talk...I'll get the number from your mother in law...lol
have fun today, keep laughing...it's contagious
Aunt Sandi