God's greatest gift

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful women out there. I went yesterday to Angie's blog (it's in my blogs I read) and found myself feeling so thankful for my daughter. If you haven't read her blog, you should (but bring some tissues). She lost her daughter a little over a month ago and has written all about her experience with the loss. I feel connected to her since I too have lost a child. Every time I go to her blog I am covered in tears, it touches my heart so much. I find her very uplifting in that she's still so close to God and still gives him thanks for everything. I didn't ever go away from God in my experience, but I do admit I had a time of being angry with him. So anyway, after reading some of her recent entries, I found myself feeling so thankful. As I read her blog, Kara was in my arms sleeping so peaceful. I looked down at her and felt overwhelmingly grateful to have her here with me. I do believe that my experience has made her more precious to me. Sometimes things happen that make you realize how lucky you are, and Angie's blog does that for me. I remember the feeling of emptiness as my stomach went back to size after Conner. I longed to feel his kicks again, or to just be able to hold him once more. Now my arms are full with a beautiful baby girl and I couldn't be happier. She is God's greatest gift and I will never allow myself to forget that. So to all of you mother's out there, cherish your babies, toddlers, elementary age, teenagers, and even adult children. God has blessed us all with the greatest gift he has to give. I pray tonight for the women out there that want a child. I believe if you want a child and have a means to support them with that you should be given one, however life isn't always that fair. I know several women that are wanting a child but are having a hard time getting one. I have been there and know how hard that can be. So for all those women, I am going to say a special prayer that you will be given the gift of a child. Be thankful for what you have and have a wonderful day.





PS Here's some pics of my family today. We went to brunch at the NCO club for Mother's Day. Afterwards Kara and I took a long nap on the couch. It doesn't get any better than that!! Maddy wrote me some sweet little poems. Here's one: The grass is green, the sky is blue, roses are violet, just as lovely as you. And another: You're as loving and kind as an angel. You're as pretty as a rose. Now isn't that sweet?

Look at her cute little barrette.

All of us together

I love this pic, but Kara was mad in it.

Maddy, Kara, and me on Mother's Day. How sweet?

Christmas Spirit Award!

A very long time ago, well back in November or so, I was awarded with a Christmas Spirit Award from my mother in law, Kari at just living large. I was thrilled with it, being that I do love Christmas. However, amongst my forgetfulness and my lack of computer skills I have failed to post about it. You see I don't know how to copy the little animated picture to my blog. Yes, she told me to ask her how to do it and that's where my forgetfulness kicks in. I always forget to ask her. So here I am only 5 days before Christmas telling myself to get my butt into gear. So I am going to post my thanks for the award without posting the cute little animated Santa with his sleigh. Thank you, Sissy, I love the award!! I feel very honored to have Christmas Spirit. Who wouldn't?? As a matter of fact starting this weekend that's all I will be doing, Christmas things. Saturday I have to layout my turkey. Maddy and I will start baking our Christmas cookies that night. I have both gingerbread and sugar cookies to make. I am so excited. I just love cutting them out and decorating them. Then on Sunday, I have to make my Rolo pretzels, a cheese ball, and start a veggie tray. We are having a few people over for Christmas Eve and I am serving finger foods, wassell, and hot chocolate. After we eat and play games we are all going to the Botanical Gardens light show. It is absolutely beautiful. We went last year and I loved it. Hopefully this year we will get to see the laser show, we missed it last year due to rain. I will be sure to post tons of pictures. Oh and another thing I hope we can do is go to the zoo where they are supposed to be making snow and igloos. I really hope we get to go. I just can't wait!! Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you all have a joyous time!!!!!

How quickly it comes and goes!

I can't believe that Christmas is in less than 2 weeks. It doesn't even seem like it to me. I think it has a lot to do with the weather. The day before yesterday was just plain ridiculous here. It was almost like summer weather. I so can't wait to be back in the states where it actually stays cool outside in the winter months. I know I complain about this a lot but dang. I have only one more Christmas to suffer through here, thank God. If only it was in arms reach of happening. Don't get me wrong I don't want to wish my life away. I know I have so much to look forward to in the time we have left on this island with the baby on the way and visitors we will be having. (My mom and step-dad will be here on Jan. 16th for two weeks). BUT sometimes it just seems so far away until we will be back in the US. I try not to get down about it. I think lately it has started to make me sad knowing that my daughter won't really know her family until she's about 2 years old. I know so many families do this, but is still stinks. I just want her to grow up knowing her grandparents, aunts, and uncles like I did. Family is so undervalued these days it seems. So before I go onto another tangent, the point I was trying to make is that it doesn't feel like Christmas here. Sure there's a nip in the air every once in a while and some people have lights up. But it's just hard to make things as festive here as they are in the states. I know I can't be the only person that feels this way about this place. For instance, this year they ran out of Christmas trees at the BX. Sadly it wasn't just last week, it was back in November, therefore several families on island will be celebrating without a tree. Yes, I know that the tree doesn't make the holiday or has anything to do with the meaning of Christmas but it's tradition. So many people are used to this, it's like putting on your shoes before going outside, not everyone does it but most people do. It makes me sad for those families. So to try to make myself feel better I am going to start some holiday baking tonight and hopefully get myself into the spirit. Nick's work is having their Children's Christmas party on Saturday so that should be fun. Then on Sunday I am holding a 12x12 Christmas scrapbook page workshop. I am hoping to have at least 3 people in attendance. Small and quaint. I will let you know how it goes. I hope that you are all in the spirit of Christmas, like I said it's gone before you know it.

Family Traditions

Well luckily my mother in law, Kari (at Just Living Large) remembered to post her family traditions, which means I too am going to do it. I have been meaning to do this one for a while. First, I will start with my parents traditions, it was always a magical time for me. We always had a real tree that my dad and I would go cut down from the woods next to our house. I know you could get arrested for that these days, but back then it wasn't that big of a deal. As far as I can remember we always went to a Christmas party on Christmas eve that my father's best friend, Brad, had at his house. I don't remember if it was at the party or at home but I was always allowed to open ONE gift that my mother chose. It was ALWAYS a pair of PJ's, that tradition stuck until I moved out of my mother's house. When we would leave the party it would be pretty late so I would just be starting out the window looking for Santa. I guess somewhere between our house and his there was a water tower with a red light on top. My dad convinced me that it was Rudolph's nose, so I better go to sleep so Santa didn't skip our house. When we got home we would sit out the cookies, milk, and carrots (for the reindeer of course). Then I would put on my new PJ's and go to bed. I was always so full of anticipation, which I am sure most kids are at the time. I would get up between 5 and 6 the next morning, my poor parents. I wasn't allowed to get out of bed until my parents were up so I would yell for them from my bedroom to let them know I was ready. Luckily they were just as excited as I was so it wasn't hard to get them up and going. Now comes the magical part. When I would get up I would go to the living room to the coolest things. The cookies would be mere crumbs, the milk would be gone, and the carrots would be gnawed on(they got my rabbits to do it the night before). Which reminds me of a movie I watched the other day that said reindeer don't gnaw on carrots they eat them whole. I am thankful I didn't watch that movie when I was a kid, it would have crushed me. Anyway, in the chair by the cookies would be glitter, where Santa had sat down. My dad even used his work boots to make glitter foot prints from the door to the chair. We didn't have a fireplace so they told me that Santa had a special key that let him into people's house who didn't have one. After looking at what Santa had left we would go outside to see the sleigh marks and reindeer hoof prints in the driveway, which was a dirt driveway(we were poor we couldn't afford cement). My dad was a hunter so he had saved a hoof from a deer he had killed to make the marks. Everything was so real to me. I didn't care when kids said Santa wasn't real, I knew otherwise. Why else would all these things be visible to me? Well, unfortunately my parents split when I was 9 years old. That Christmas I kept holding out that I would see the things that I was used to. It seems like my mom may have tried to do it the same but by the next year it didn't happen. I never even told her but that next year I went outside to look for the sleigh marks and hoof prints. I searched until I realized there weren't any. I was so heartbroken. I wanted Santa to be real, I wanted it to all be as magical as I had grown up thinking it was. I realize that most kids don't believe at the age of 10 but I still did up until that point.

Once my parents split we had some new traditions but they were mostly the same. We went to my Aunt Pat's house, which was next door, for Christmas Eve. My grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins were all there too. We would sit around eating candy and snacks and talk. We all exchanged gifts that night. So we got to open from our grandparents and aunts and uncles. When we got home my mom would then allow me to open my PJ's. I would go to bed and get up the next morning to my Santa clause gift being out unwrapped. As long as I lived in my mom's house I had a Santa clause gift. She knew I didn't believe anymore but she still did it. However, the things in my stocking were always wrapped; I tend to do this to now. After we opened all our gifts we would all go back to my Aunt Pat's house for Christmas dinner. It was a really good time. I miss those times with my family.

Now we have to start our own traditions. We have only had Maddy for two Christmas mornings in 2003 and 2005. We set out her Santa gifts and her stocking of wrapped things. We did the cookies and milk but not the carrots. I do wish we could have done for her what was done for me but it would have confused her being that she spend some Christmas mornings with her mom too. So maybe we can do those things for Kara, or come up with our own thing. I just know I want her to experience the wonders of Christmases morning like I did as a child. Sure I was crushed when it was all over but the memory of it all will remain with me always. Those are memories that I cherish deeply.

Christmas photo shoot

Everyone is in this one but our cat, Chloe and chipmunk, Leia. Maddy pointed out that Conner is in the picture too. Look on the tree in the middle of mine and Nick's heads his pic is in the superman ornament. How sweet?
If only Nick would smile.
This was my favorite one of us three together.
You can see my belly poking out in this one. My true love and me.
Here's my little Tinkerbell and me. She has a little red bow in her hair that Nick was so ready to get out of her hair. I thought it was precious.

Now this picture is just classic to me. A little girl all dressed up with her little dog. Melts my heart. Awww!!

Worst Christmas parade ever!!!

This is Maddy's look of disappointment, poor thing had to suffer through this like we did.

So you know how you look forward to things in life, which for me happens a lot in the Christmas season, and then you are totally let down? Well that was me yesterday. Our base has been advertising for the Christmas parade for a few weeks now and so I was kind of excited to see what it was like. The first problem I saw with it was that it was at noon. Who does a Christmas parade in daylight? Aren't you supposed to have it at night so all the lights show? Well, to my disappointment there were no lights, no floats, no band, no Christmas music or even carolers. It my friends was just a bunch of people walking, yes some were dressed in Santa hats and elf suits, but I was amazed at how AWFUL it was. The highlight of the whole things was that Santa and two elves rode on the firetruck at the end. I realize we are on a little island, but does that mean our creativeness has sunk to the bottom of the ocean? What happened to homemade floats? We have cars here and I know there has to be some kind of things that haul bigger things they could have used. I just don't get it. I was crushed after this event and then to make matters worse, their so called Tinsel Town, had not one Christmas thing to it. All it had was a bunch of vendors with food and games, none might I add that were Christmas like at all. There was no Christmas decor anywhere besides on the top of the Schilling center there are a few things they were to light up at 5pm, which again is not when it's dark here. What a total and utter waste of my time and hopes. But I have learned that here that is the norm, you get your hopes up and then they let them fall. Sorry to be complaining, it was just a HUGE let down for me. But on a brighter note I did fail to post the last few things I am thankful for.

November 27th- The Internet, for without it I couldn't blog or keep in touch with my old friends, being that I am in a far away land.

November 28th-Scrapbooking because it helps me preserve my pictures and has provided me with so much fun, I can't imagine life without it.

November 30th- Finally I guess I would have to say blessings, because they are so wonderful and make our lives so much better. I have been blessed in so many ways and for those things I give thanks to God.

What am I???

So I am copying everyone else in the seach of what Christmas things I am. It seems I am a tradional tree with my own set traditions. So true for me, althought I would like to make some new ones with my baby girl that's on the way!! And I am just like my mother in law and Aunt Sandi, a flashy trashy Christmas Sweater, yes that is me! Ha that was so much fun!

You Are a Traditional Christmas Tree

For a good Christmas, you don't have to re-invent the wheel.You already have traditions, foods, and special things you bring out every year.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

You Are a Christmas Sweater!

Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy.You're not afraid to be a little tacky.

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcrappychristmasgiftareyouquiz/">What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

If you want to play just click on the link and find out which one you are!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We had a pretty nice one. I started the day cooking and listening to my Christmas music because it always makes me happy. We went to our friends house to eat, where they fried a turkey. It was burnt on the outside and not all the way cooked in the inside, but hey it was funny. Luckily the white meat(we don't eat dark meat) was done so we were happy. We had a nice dinner and then played games. Nick and I were on a team and we won every game we played, so of course Nick was so excited. He tends to brag a lot when he wins. Crazy man! But overall it was a nice day. I will be posting a pics of my apple pie soon, it was extra beautiful this year. Today I am so thankful for family. Though we weren't with our family (besides each other) I thought of everyone and missed them. I feel thankful for my ENTIRE family. Sure sometimes we don't get a long or get on each others nerves, but overall we are always there for each other, which is how a true family should be. I love and miss you all. Hope you have a great day!!! Oh and yeah as you can see my belly's growing quite fast these days. LOL

Ready for Thanksgiving!

So before I took my Fall tree down, to make it a Christmas tree, I had to get some pictures. I think they came out really cute. And my scarecrow, isn't he adorable? Maddy of course didn't want to take the pictures at first and then she got all into it. She's a good little model don't you think?

Christmas movies ROCK!!

Oh my goodness, I hate to admit this but I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life", I know how can I call myself a fan of Christmas when I haven't watched one of the old classics? (I hear you Sissy and Aunt Sandi, smack my wrist for this one). Well, truth is I have no idea why I have never watched this movie, I know I have seen bits and pieces of it. I know you have read about my complaints of this islands' lack of things to buy, but today I am praising them. Last year they put out a measly 5 Christmas movies that were all crap except for Jack Frost, which I bought. This year they actually stepped up to the plate. They have GOOD movies like The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2 (can't wait for the 3rd to come out next week), All I Want for Christmas, and to my astonishment It's a Wonderful Life Collectors Edition. So I swiped it up for $17.95. It includes both the black and white and newly restored versions. So I have a date to watch it this weekend. I know I will love it. What's not to love??? So today I am thankful for Christmas movies because they always have a nice ending. You know they are supposed to teach you the true meaning of Christmas. It's not about the gifts or decor (although the decor is wonderful) but about family and Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior! That my friends is why sing it with me, "It's the most wonderful time of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's BATGIRL to the rescue and her little dogs too.

Fear factor queen!!

At our squadron kid's Halloween party they did their own version of the well known TV show, Fear Factor. So Maddy was a contestant. She did really good. First, the tried different foods like grape eyeballs, noodle brains, and finally the grossest thing ever tuna fish mixed with cherry jello. YUCK! But she did it and moved on to the next round. Next, they (her and her partner, the cute little Supergirl) had to each take a bite out of a hanging apple at the same time. The final round was to toilet paper themselves into a mummy and run to the other side of the room and back. Unfortunately some older girls in the competition cheated and won. They didn't wrap themselves fully. I of course was appalled because Maddy was doing the best job of wrapping herself like she was supposed to. I personally think she should have won, and no I am not bias it just the TRUTH!!!

Last years pumpkin

Well as some of you know my son was named Conner, which is also Superboy's name in the comics. My husband is a HUGE comic book fan. So if was funny that the names we had picked when I was pregnant with him (Conner and Kara) are the names of both Superboy and Supergirl. When we found out his prognosis, we began calling him our superbaby (because we didn't find out his sex until after birth). I called him superbaby because I didn't believe that he wasn't going to make it. I tried to think he would make it and that I would be able to tell people the miracle of what he overcame. But when I was thinking of him being a miracle and a superbaby, I didn't get his purpose. He was a miracle because he brought our family closer together. He was a superbaby because he did things the doctors said he wouldn't do. They told me I would never feel him kick and guess what I did everyday. I was so amazed by it that anyone near when he would do it I would make them feel it too. Seventeen people felt it besides me. So anyway after he passed Nick and I buy things with the superman symbol on them to remember him by. So last year as a memorial to him I made a superman jack o' lantern. It turned out really beautiful. I thought I would share it's beauty with you.

Halloween decor off base.

We went off base this past weekend and Maddy had to pose with all the Halloween stuff, among other things. What a ham, that kid!

We've been Boo'd

So yesterday we got a knock on the door and Maddy went to get it and found this on our door. Apparently someone has started a tradition on our road that consist of Booing your neighbors. On the back of the sign that says Boo it read:

Boo!

To our good friends on our street:

Our homes' location made us meet.

You now have been Boo'd, but who could we be?

We'll never tell, it's a secret, you see.

We placed these goodies for you and yours

Then we ran fast after knocking the door!

Happy Halloween!

Place this Boo on your front door

And make sure you Boo a neighbor of yours!

Now isn't that a cute idea? So we are going to get the stuff to Boo someone in our neighborhood this weekend. It is really fun! You should start it in your neighborhood. Happy Halloween!!!