Sunday, April 13, 2008

Some poems that remind me of Conner....

So I went over to Jana's blog today and was catching up when I came across a blog she wanted others to read. Turns out it was about a little angel girl that came into this world and left if very soon, just like my little Conner. I wept so much this morning, but it made me realize how special this time I have with Kara is right now. I feel so blessed that I am the mother of both an angel and a soon to be newborn. I feel foolish now for griping about my aches and pains, when I know it will be worth it a thousand times over. I have had Conner on my mind a lot these past few days. I worked on his first birthday scrapbook page last night. Maybe it had been taking longer for my labor because I have to come to terms with things involving him before Kara will arrive. It's a very special but overwhelming time in my life. I have had so much to think about and learn from. All I know is that God has blessed my life in so many ways and I need to appreciate all he has done for me. I gave all my worries to God and know he will supply me with many miracles to come. I hope you enjoy these poems. I wanted to post them for Audrey's (the little angel I mentioned above) mother. If you want to check out her blog it is in my favorites under Angie. May God bless all of you today with his Grace.

The most precious memory of my life. I love and miss you, Conner!

A Poem for Mommy

I thought of you and closed my eyes

and I prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a mother

and I know I heard him say.

A mother has a baby

this we know is true.

But God can you be a mother

when your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied

with confidence in his voice

I give many women babies

when they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime

and others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb

but there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God

I want my baby here.

He took a breath and cleared his throat

and then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you

what your child is doing today.

If you could see your child smile

with other children and say

"We go to earth and learn our lessons

of love and life and fear.

My mommy loved me oh so much

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom

who had so much love for me

I learned my lesson very quickly

my mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy oh so much

but I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep

on her pillows where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek

And whisper in her ear,

"Mommy don't be sad today

I am your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one

you children are OK

Your babies are here in my home

and this is where they will stay

They wait for you with me

until your lesson is through

And on the day that you come home

they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a mother

It's a feeling in your heart

It's the love you had so much of

right from the very start.

Poem by Jennifer Wasik


If we could have a lifetime wish,
a dream that could come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
for yesterday and you.
A thousand words can't bring you back,
we know because we've tried.
And neither will a million tears,
we know because we've cried.
You left behind our broken hearts
and happy memories too.
We never wanted memories
we only wanted you.
A million times we've needed you,
a million times we've cried.
If love alone could have saved you,
you would have never died.
In life we loved you deeply:
in death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place,
no one could ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
but you did not go alone.
Part of us went with you,
the day God took you home.

Author Unknown


JanaBanana said...

Im so sorry for what you went through Jodie.. He is precious...
Reading Angi's blog was sure an eye opener for me. She is such an amazing person.. I cant even imagine your girl's pain.

Kari (GrannySkywalker) said...

Conner's been on my mind a lot, too. I remember how soft his skin felt - it was the best thing in the world to touch. His perfect little soul is with God and I'm sure he's waiting as impatiently as the rest of us to see his chubby little sister come screaming onto planet Earth. Conner will forever be a part of our family and Kara will grow up knowing that. Now treasure the last few days or weeks of your pregnancy with her. These are the most precious moments of your's like you and your baby are the only two who know the secret of pure love with one another. Soon, you'll be sharing her with the rest of the world, but for right now...she's all yours. Enjoy'll miss it later. You already know this, though, because I know how much you missed carrying Conner after he was born. There's just something about the privacy a mommy and a baby share during a pregnancy that is way too precious to ignore. So relax, rub your belly and work on glowing instead of tapping your toes waiting for labor! (Lord know, the labor part will come soon enough!).
Love you,

Abbie said...

Just so precious, it really is a comforting poem.

Sandi McBride said...

Read her a story by Dr Seuss and play her some music. I used to hold the earphones to my belly with both the boys...all kinds, c/w, classical, guitar (mostly 12 string and to this day when they hear Malaguena they smile...and now it's our little secret. Like you MIL says, enjoy this time and communicate with Kara, talk to her, read to her, sing to her...she can hear you, you know.
love to all of you...
Aunt Sandi

Abbie said...

yaaaay!! Kara is here!!! I just came from Kari's blog, saw pictures and got my butt here like stat!!

I'm so happy she's here!!!!

Brenda said...

Congrats Jodie. Kara is so beautiful.
hope you are feeling much better.

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desiree said...

i am so sorry for ur lost it hurts me to and i have a son and i worrie about these things every day of my life im cryin for ur lost i hate to see babies pass on wy cant they live there life out im sorry