6 and 1/2 months yesterday!!

So I went to the doc yesterday for a routine check up and everything was good. Her heartrate is in the 150's and she's measuring a week big (27 weeks and I'm only 26). I will be seeing him again on Feb. 15th and my high risk doc on the 11th. Next Monday I am hoping to get my 3D ultrasound, I almost can't wait!! I can't wait to see Kara's sweet little face! I also am wondering if she really has a pointed nose and is fat. I will be the judge of that thankyouverymuch!!!! I will scan the pictures when I get them for all to see. Hopefully she will be a good baby and won't cover her face. Guess we will see....

Nursery delay

Well it seems that I may have a nursery delay. I have my crib and changing table, it's just that I am having to wait to get the crib put together later than I intended. At first I was furious at my husband, mad that he didn't see the importance of it like I do. He wanted to wait to do it until April or late March ( I am due May 7th, but measuring a week big which would put me having her in late April). I, on the other hand, wanted it up the end of this month so that I would be able to start decorating and getting everything organized. Being that we only have two bedrooms (ours and Maddy's) we were going to set up the crib in our loft (where my computer is) until after Maddy returns to Florida. So I was going on about how I wanted him to move the computer so I could put the crib on the other wall so I could hang some things. He (my husband) felt that there was no point to decorate in here since we will be moving the crib a couple of months after she's born. He told me that my problem was that I am nesting (not something a hormonal woman wants to hear). Well, be it nesting or not I feel this huge need to get things done. I figure this time next month I am going to have a lot harder of a time getting around and would feel better if things were inorder. I have been going through all of our closets and cleaning everything out. I just want to have things done so I won't have to worry if she were to show up early. I have this huge fear of her being early since Conner was. I know that things with him were different, but I still can't shake the feeling that she will be early too. So here I am feeling all out of sorts. I have finally concluded that the crib being up is not that big of a deal. I had planned on putting her in it for her naps, but I will have her pack n play for that. She will be sleeping in our room the first month or so anyway so that she won't bother Maddy's sleep (plus I am sure I will be overly paranoid wanting to keep her close). So I do feel very disappointed about not having a nursery to take pictures of for everyone to see. I feel so envious of Jana's nursery that's done up all cute, love the pink and brown!! I am still trying to figure out how I will even do the nursery. I have yet to order my bed set, but I have it picked out (purple and butterflies at Target called Sugar Plum). I am going this Saturday to my friends house to see what all she has that she wants to get rid of. I know I am getting a rocker and running stroller from her for sure. I know it will all come together, but the overwhelming need to get things done is driving me bonkers. Hopefully this weekend I will get some things bought and will feel better. Anyone else have this issues when you were pregnant??

Some pretty flowers from the Botanical Garden...

Sorry folks but I don't have a clue what any of them are called. They were just pretty and I couldn't help myself from clicking my camera. I love flowers!!

Mmmmm strawberries.....

I was thrilled to see that strawberries are back in season. I went to the commissary and was drawn in by the smell of them. I was so excited. They taste so sweet and juicy. However at $4.00 a pint, I will have to limit myself or I could just go broke. Yeah, I think I would rather go broke than miss out on their wonderful taste. YUM!

Busy, busy, busy!

Dinner at Capital's Steak house off base. The whole gang!

My mom, Frank, Maddy and me at Ocean Expo Park.
My mom and Maddy near a cherry blossom tree.
Mom and Frank at the Botanical Gardens.

So I know it's been weeks since I have blogged and to be honest it has driven me a little nuts. I have had so much go on that I wanted to blog, but life has got in my way. Last week my computer went crazy. Turns out it had 7 viurses that caused my compter to be totally striped. So now I am having to start all over with my favorites and everything. On a happier note, my mom and step father came to visit for two weeks. It was a really nice time; I hated to see them go. We took them around to various places. Of course it rained almost every day they were here so it put a bit of a damper on a few of my plans. However we made the best of their time here. Above is a few pics of some of the places we went. I will have to post more later. It was so nice to have family visit. Being in a foreign place you realize the importance of family and having them around. It is very hard sometimes to be this far away and not being involved in your families life. Sometimes it feels like you are forgotten and out of the loop. I was so thankful for the time we all spent while they were here. I know they had an interesting few weeks that they will never forget. Frank (my step father) was amazed by the cars here. He loved the little vans and wanted to take on home. My mom thought the trees were funny too. There is so much here that I wanted to show them but it's hard to cram it all into two weeks, but I hope they enjoyed what they did see. They hope to visit again before we leave.

Do you ever wonder... why me??

So another interesting appointment to the doc today. I saw my regular OB, Dr. Cummings(previously referred to as Bozo), for a normal appointment. It started out with talking about my ear problem. I have yet to blog the craziness I have dealt with about my ear. On Christmas day I got a terrible ear ache that was accompanied with a full feeling in my right ear. I thought maybe it would subside, but almost a month later I am still dealing with that full feeling. I have been to the doctor a few times concerning this problem and have been put on every medication possible, from Claritin to Antibiotics. The doctor I saw told me that I didn't have any fluid, scarring, or inflammation in my ear, that maybe I am suffering from a collapsing ear syndrome or maybe it's a symptom of this pregnancy. Now this woman was very nice and kind but I thought she may be a little out of the loop on how to diagnose anything dealing with my ear. (Which turns out I was right!!) So today Dr. Cumming looks in my ear and what do you know he finds fluid in it. So he told me to start taking my Sudafed more often and keep up with the antibiotics. I am also supposed to make an appointment with an ENT specialist just to make sure the problem isn't more than the fluid. So it was nice to finally get that settled.

However the fun didn't end there. He asked me if I had been experiencing any fluid loss, bleeding, or contractions. I said everything was fine but that I get braxton hicks everyday. He was very concerned that I am getting them that often and asked me to describe them to him. So I did and turns out he believes they are a bit more serious than braxton hicks, therefore he wanted to check my cervix. WHAT??? HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I knew that I had it done before but I was in labor then and was already in pain so I didn't pay much attention. He replied, "I will have to put my hand in your vagina. It's really not that bad." Oh really is that all doc, just what I wanted today. He kept telling me not to worry it's not that big of a deal. It seems doctors always say this to me until they actually get there hand in there per se. I had get in frog position with my feet put up next to each other and then put my fists under my bottom before he could even begin to get close to my cervix. Yes, he tried numerous times before I got to that position. Relax he kept telling me. Yeah you have someone stick their hand up your pee pee hole and try to relax dude. You are quite flexible he tells me. "Hey, I am not looking for compliments right now doc!!!" So finally he gets to it and it was closed, thank God. Apparently because I have a down turned uterus it has moved up and over my cervix therefore making it very difficult to get to. I already knew this because every doctor tells me things like this. "Wow I've never seen someone as hard to get to as you" or "Your cervix is unusually far back" are some of my favorites. Just what I always wanted a one of a kind cervix that amazes everyone. My goodness!!

So I also talked to him about getting monitored (the doc I saw about my ear said I would be going once a week starting my 27 week mark) and he said he's not planning on putting me through that. If I have any contractions that make me feel uneasy to come straight to the labor and delivery and they would check me out. If Kara tries to make her way out too early then they will put her on steroids (and me on Progesterone) to help her be okay at birth. So I feel happy that they have a plan to help her. However during our conversation he brought up Conner's birth. He wanted to know some details like when I delivered and if he was a stillborn or not. He was like he died in utero right? No, he didn't I told him. But it says he was stillborn. Yes I know what it says but then I told him about his three heartbeats. He looked at me and shook his head, then he wasn't stillborn. I told him he wasn't but for some reason they labeled him that way. He said he had to go by what the paperwork said. I guess I got that look in my eyes and he apologized for bringing it up. I told him it was okay, but that it was a sore subject because they were wrong. I wish that I could have that subject come up and it wouldn't still get me angry but it does. All I wanted was a birth certificate saying that Conner was on this earth and he did exist. I know a piece of paper doesn't matter to the people that count but it's frustrating that to the government he didn't. Another reason it angered me is because had he been issued one, the military would have given us money to help bury him. Instead we had to get our parents to pay for it, which bothers both Nick and me to this day. We didn't want them to have to pay for that, it was right near the holidays and a hard time for money. However we will be eternally grateful for their help. That's what parents do they help their children no matter what. I wish I could have done something to help Conner. Why couldn't he have been given all the options that I am getting for Kara now? I had asked them to give Conner steroids to help his lung development but they said it wouldn't help. Oh the anger I feel.

Yes I am a shopaholic!!

So I went to Target.com and found the cutest little clothes and they were all on clearance so how could I pass them up??? I also found the two outfits below at the BX. Yes there are pink things, I am getting used to the idea that she can't be in purple always. LOL

Baby furniture

It's here, it's here!! I had all of intentions to wait for my crib and changing table, but things didn't work out that way. I had found a really great crib with an attached three drawer/three shelf combo. It was cherry wood (my favorite wood) and I was so excited to get it. However I went to order it from the furniture store and was told they no longer carried it here. They said they may be able to get it from the states but it would take up to six months!! What?? My baby will be here in three. So I asked the lady about the things they had in the store. She said they had just got a shipment in and that they usually don't get them but every three months. She said I would have to bring the tickets up to the counter to see if the items were available. So I went and found the same kind of crib I was wanting (cherry wood that grows with baby) and a changing table to match. Luckily they had the items in so I went ahead and ordered them. They delivered them the next day! What was even more exciting was that the changing table was already assembled so I got to put all her clothes and stuff in it yesterday. I know to some people it may seem silly to be excited over this but to me it's a HUGE deal. I never got to do these fun things for Conner. I feel so blessed and happy!

Precious gift

This past Christmas, I got this snow globe from my best friend, April. It touched my heart and made me cry like a baby. Inside the snow globe is a tree with a heart that reads: We never lose the ones we love.... they live on in our hearts. On the front is my son's name. It meant so much to me because sometimes after all the initial part of a death in the family is over, people tend to forget. I have been so fortunate that my close friends and family have not forgotten about my baby that only lived for three heartbeats in this world. It helps knowing that he not only lives on in me but in them also. I couldn't have gotten a better gift this Christmas. Conner will always be a part of me and my life. Thank you April for my gift, it meant the world to me.

What is this world coming to?

So a few days ago I go over to my mother in law's blog to read a story that just made me think, a whole lot!! It was about her 11 year old niece calling her fat and a pig. Now if you had ever seen my mother in law you would know she's not fat or a pig!! It really bothers me how children (and some adults) are these days. Sure she may have been trying to be funny, but whatever happened to thinking before we speak? Apparently that saying has been thrown out the window. I hear more and more stories of people saying things that are entirely inappropriate and hurtful to others. Why do people do this? To build themselves up? Who ever learned that tearing someone else down would build you up? Do you not have a conscience? I come from a family full of people that are considered overweight. Therefore any situations dealing with hurt feelings over name calling about this subject hits home. I believe it has a lot to do with our society today. We are made to believe that if you aren't a size 2 you need to shape up and slim down. But the worst part is the people who are that small are never satisfied with themselves either. I know this because I was once a size 2 and I still felt I was fat. I looked in the mirror and saw all the things about my body that I wanted to fix, not the things that were fabulous. Before my pregnancy I wore between a 4 and 6, at which I still felt fat. All the women in Hollywood make women with curves (like me) feel shame for having them. Wasn't it not too long ago considered a good thing to have curves and more than skin stretched over bones? I just don't get it. The funny part is as small as I have been in my life there are still people that have made comments to me like, "Hey are your hips getting wider?" People need to realize that these are hurtful to others. What was the point of saying that? Do you think it will make me feel better or are you just vengeful? Another thing that bothers me is when a woman is pregnant and people say, "Are you sure there's only one in there?" As if it isn't enough that your body is going through a total transformation. I also remember another time that I got me feelings hurt over some comments that were made. It was last Thanksgiving (2006) and we went to our friend's house for dinner. Another couple was over there with their 3 healthy children. All evening long the couple kept making comments about how Nick and I don't know this or that because we don't have children. Nick informed them that we did have children but they weren't with us. They still kept on. Later in the conversation Nick was talking about Maddy and the woman asked, "Who is Maddy? your niece?" "No, she's my daughter," he told her. It was like they liked making it a point of saying that we didn't have children. What they didn't know was that just the year before on that same day we had buried our son. It was a hard day already and they kept on with the comments. I was ready to scream. Sure they didn't know our circumstances but why go on and on about something when you don't know the reason behind it? I now realize that they were just clueless as to how that could hurt someone. I do believe that some people aren't trying to hurt others. I know this is true because I made a fool of myself not too long ago. My commander's wife was talking about having children and how she just didn't think if was meant for her. She did say that she loved children and being 35 was running out of time. So I simply said, "If you want them then you should have them don't wait any longer, you don't want to regret it down the line." She then told me that she had been trying and had just suffered her 3rd miscarriage a couple of weeks prior. I had no clue, but I still felt foolish. So I wrote her a long email the next day apologizing. It may seem a bit extreme to some people, but being that I have been in similar situations, I wanted her to know I didn't mean to cause her pain. There is no way to know how some things you say will be taken. Sometimes it is just a thought you have or something you don't thing will bother the other person. However comments like name calling or telling someone they have put on weight is a given hurtful thing to do. So before you do this please think of how you would feel if it were being said to you. It's something we should teach our children to. Okay I am off my soapbox.... for now!!!!

Kara's already spoiled!!

This is just some of the items that Kara got for Christmas. I will have to post the rest of her things later. For someone who isn't' born yet, she's just rotten. Thank you to Granny Hayes, April, Gloria, Nanny, and Nana. I loved opening her gifts more than I did my own!!

New belly pic...

This pic was taken last night. I wasn't feeling my best, you may be able to tell from my fake smile and red cheeks. I turned 22 weeks yesterday and man am I showing. :)