Thursday, November 6, 2008

My Sunshine

Almost every night while I rock Kara to sleep I play her lullaby CD. She usually falls asleep by the 4th song on the disc, "You are my Sunshine". I have always liked that song but didn't know all the lyrics until I started listening to her CD. After hearing the lyrics, I came to realize that it reminded me of my son, Conner (My Sunshine). I cry every night I hear it. It's kind of surreal holding Kara asleep in my arms, while I am thinking of him. I can't explain it, but it's weird and comforting at the same time. His 3rd birthday would have been next week and I guess that's why I am writing. I want to talk about him to make myself feel better, if that's even possible. I keep thinking I should be planning a party right now rather than feeling sad. I should be putting my almost 3 year old to bed right now rather than typing this out. I have come to realize these are things I will always think about. He is in my thoughts every day. Oh how I miss him and wish he was here. If you were wondering the lyrics that play on her CD they are as follows:

You are my Sunshine,
my only sunshine.
You make me happy
when skies are gray.
You'll never know dear
how much I love you
Please don't take
my sunshine away.

The other night, dear,
As I lay sleeping,
I dreamt I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

Repeat chorus.

( It only plays that part of the song, a condensed version, I guess. I realize this song was written for torn apart lovers, but I think this particular verse fits for my situation.)

1 comment:

Sandi McBride said...

Why don't you go ahead and plan that party? I know Connor is growing and thriving on the other side, so don't be sad.
Aunt Sandi