Reality

The other day I was talking to my mother-in-law about how I think turning 30 is going to be really hard for me. She said that 30 was harder for her than any other age. We concluded that it's because when you are younger you think 30 is old. No, I don't think that anymore, but I do believe that my 30th birthday will bother me.

While driving down the road a few days ago, I realized my birthday isn't too far away. I will be turning 27, which is still kind of your mid-twenties, so it shouldn't bother me. However, I believe it does. I certainly don't feel that old, I feel more of a 20 year old. Why does age matter? It is after all a number. Like I said, I don't feel that old. Sometimes I still feel like that same girl I was in high school, just more mature. I wouldn't want to go back to being a teenager, but my early twenties were a fun age. My teenage years were filled with endless drama that now would drive me insane. I know people say they want to go back to that age because you have less responsibility and worries, but I just don't think it's for me. I have become so much more independent since high school and I like that. I know that I can be in a house by myself and not be scared. I have lived by myself for months at a time and been fine with it. I don't necessarily ever want to live that way again, but I at least know I can do it. I remember one night in high school, I spent by myself and was scared to death. Every noise made me jump and I barely slept. I feel fortunate to know that I can take care of myself. However, having said that, I am not sure I enjoy that my age keeps going up. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to lock into an age and stay that way for you whole life? Getting older reminds me that everyone I know is getting older too. The older you get the more people die, the bigger your kids get, and time goes by quicker and quicker. I guess the only thing to do is enjoy whatever age you are in and never take things for granted. Live you life in whatever age you feel you are not what age you actually are. Life is certainly more fun that way.