Friday, February 22, 2008


The other day I was talking to my mother-in-law about how I think turning 30 is going to be really hard for me. She said that 30 was harder for her than any other age. We concluded that it's because when you are younger you think 30 is old. No, I don't think that anymore, but I do believe that my 30th birthday will bother me.

While driving down the road a few days ago, I realized my birthday isn't too far away. I will be turning 27, which is still kind of your mid-twenties, so it shouldn't bother me. However, I believe it does. I certainly don't feel that old, I feel more of a 20 year old. Why does age matter? It is after all a number. Like I said, I don't feel that old. Sometimes I still feel like that same girl I was in high school, just more mature. I wouldn't want to go back to being a teenager, but my early twenties were a fun age. My teenage years were filled with endless drama that now would drive me insane. I know people say they want to go back to that age because you have less responsibility and worries, but I just don't think it's for me. I have become so much more independent since high school and I like that. I know that I can be in a house by myself and not be scared. I have lived by myself for months at a time and been fine with it. I don't necessarily ever want to live that way again, but I at least know I can do it. I remember one night in high school, I spent by myself and was scared to death. Every noise made me jump and I barely slept. I feel fortunate to know that I can take care of myself. However, having said that, I am not sure I enjoy that my age keeps going up. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to lock into an age and stay that way for you whole life? Getting older reminds me that everyone I know is getting older too. The older you get the more people die, the bigger your kids get, and time goes by quicker and quicker. I guess the only thing to do is enjoy whatever age you are in and never take things for granted. Live you life in whatever age you feel you are not what age you actually are. Life is certainly more fun that way.


Sandi McBride said...

Everyone seems to be talking about age and birthdays this week. You know, forty was hard for me, but I kept it to myself and pretty soon forty was just a number, because I noticed I felt no different than I did when I was thirty, or twenty for that matter. I thought differently about things the older I got, I had more sense the older I got. It's only when I look in a mirror that the surprise comes. Do I avoid mirrors? Hell no, I have to be able to see where to put that magic skin rejuvenating cream they keep selling me. Does it work? Of course not, except in my my mind I'm still that stunningly beautiful 20 year old that Uncle Wallace met, swept off my feet, departed for parts unknown then came back into my life after his brief bout of cold feet and the rest of course is history...I did tell you this is how I saw myself in my mind, didn't I? So when I tell you that our fortieth wedding anniversary is October 15th, you know my age didn't stand still, much as I might wish it had...turning 60 last month was a I can take longer naps and people don't ask if I'm sick. I can say what I want (but still not be rude) and people give me respect. Respect. Now that's a fine thing. Talk to me in 33 years, I'll ask you how you feel about turning 60. I, of course, still plan to be around.
love and more
Aunt Sandi

brian said...

I turned 30 last year, and it didn't seem like such a big thing. Although I do recall when my 30 year old neighbors (when I was 20-21) seemed way older than me. I don't feel much older than 21. But when I try to socialize with people that age, that's when I feel old. They have a way of treating you as if you don't belong in their group. When the people who are the age, that i feel like was just 1 or 2 years ago, treat me like I'm old, that's when I feel old.
I think you'll find approaching 30 is creepier than actually turning 30. I felt at 25 like I had lived for so long and accomplished so little. So much changed in 5 years.