Just call me MISERABLE

So I know it's not the nicest thing for me to do right now, complaining that is, but it seems I have nothing else to blog about these days. For the past 5 days I have been sitting around the house doing nothing. It's not that I don't have things to do (laundry, cleaning, organizing) but that these things along with almost everything I do causes me pain. You see I woke up last Thursday with contractions. It was about 4 in the morning so I took a bath knowing that sometimes that will soothe your body and calm them down. Well that didn't work, so I tried to just get some rest. I got back to sleep only to keep waking up with the slightly painful little buggers. When we woke up at around 8 I told Nick that it may be THE day(althought they weren't that painful so I had my doubts). So he went down stairs to clean up. We both got our showers and everything was working out wonderful. So at around 10 we went to the hospital. They hooked me up to the machines (baby's heart and contraction) and not too long into it I had my first contraction. I felt glad that I wasn't making it up in my head. Turns out I was having them every 4-6 minutes. So the nurse comes in to check my dilation and of course can't get to my cervix (she even tried pulling it down, good times) . This has always been a problem for me. I have a tilted uterus and I guess the rest of my insides around there are messed up as well. So she calls in another lady to "find" it. The lady does find it and I was only 1/2 a centimeter dilated. Not quite the news I was hoping for. However, I was 50% effaced and -1 (which means the head is very close to being in my pelvis). They told me that I will have to progress some more before it's actual labor (which I had already figured out). In order to be discharged I had to have the doctor come in. He said after looking at everything that he figured I would be back in this week. I was like, "You think I will have her this week?" He said he did think so, which would be good because my doctor would be back from his Disney (Tokyo Disney) trip by then. So here it is Monday morning and I am still feeling contractions and lower back pain. It's weird sometimes I will have them as close as every 5 minutes, but after a few they taper off. It could very well be that I am having them more than I realize because I wasn't feeling every one that the monitor had picked up on Thursday. But to be honest, I am tired and so ready for this baby to come. Some other FUN symptoms have popped up as well but I won't go into detail about that, let's just say it makes things even more painful and hard to walk with. I have a doctor appointment in the morning at 8:30 to get some kind of bacterial test done. I know he will want to check me with all that's been going on so I am going to ask if he will go ahead and strip my membranes then. What a good way to start your birthday right? All I know is that if it ends with me seeing her, turning 27 may not be so bad after all.

Oh happy day!

So just to let you all know I feel 100 times better today. I think I may be getting over that rut, a little. Nick will hopefully be getting a ticket tomorrow to head back this way. If it all works out he will be here Monday night, which makes me feel so much better. I spent a lot of time talking to friends today and it made me feel better. I want to thank you all for your uplifting comments and stories that you shared. They helped me so much. I won't say I am totally out of the red, but it's getting better.

I had to go to Labor and Delivery today with a nosebleed. I know sounds silly, but it lasted 40 minutes and wouldn't go away. I am on baby aspirin (which thins the blood)so I was a bit worried. After half an hour, I called the OB and they said to come in. On the way to the hospital, I started spitting up blood clots, pretty scary, but my nose had stopped bleeding. So I decided it was better safe than sorry and went on to Labor/Delivery anyway. I had to be hooked up to the machines for about 40 minutes. All was well with the baby and my bleeding had stopped so all I had to do was talk to the doc before I left. Turns out it was a midwife that thought she would treat me like I didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground. You know the type that likes to talk down to people as if they don't know that aspirin is a blood thinner or that pregnancy sometimes causes nosebleeds (already knew these things). She really made me mad when I told her that the nurse told me to come in if it didn't quit after another 10 minutes. Her reply, "Yes, I was standing right there and knew you would be here without a doubt!" She also went on to tell me that I fit right in with all the other mothers that had been coming in with colds the past few weeks. As if we all freak out about things for no reason. She told me that it will probably happen again so just wait it out because they wouldn't be able to do anything for me besides pack my nose and that wouldn't be very pleasant. DUH!! She obviously hasn't bled out of her nose for almost an hour after doing every thing possible to stop it. I have no patience for people like her. I hope and pray she's not there when I got in to Labor, or better yet if she is I will pass her right up for a "REAL" doctor.

Honesty

This post is going to be purely from my thoughts, honest as can be. You see I am not one for telling or writing all my thoughts down (besides in high school when I kept a journal). No, it's not that I lie, I just don't tell all my thoughts for fear of rejection or upsetting someone else. When I am bothered or upset about something I always either a) don't tell the person they have upset me, just act distant b) do tell the person but don't let them know just how upset I am, or c)try to work it out with myself so that I can avoid confrontation all together. This is one thing about myself that I have always disliked, however I don't think I will ever be able to change. This is one of those times when I don't feel there's anyone I can talk to about it that will understand me on every level. So instead of calling up my mom or a friend and spouting off in their ear like I usually do, I am going to write a blog and hope that I get thorough it without deleting it before it's posted. So here it goes:

Have you ever had one of those days that just starts out bad and doesn't get better? Well that is today for me and it's only 12:15pm. I am hoping that the worst of the day is over. It all started with me waking up at 4:30am from a nightmare about my husband. The dream was about him being gone on a trip (like he is now) and him calling me to tell me that the enemy had captured him. It was a terrible dream, because I could tell he was in pain and I didn't think I would ever see or hear from him again. I was begging and pleading with his kidnappers to let him go because we are having a baby soon. The only thing I can figure is that it was their way of torturing him, to let him hear me and know his life was over. After I woke up I thought I would call him to make sure he's okay, but I realized that he would already be at work so I tried to go back to sleep. When I finally fell back asleep, the dream continued. I was with my MIL, Sissy, and we got a report saying that at least 63% of his bones were broken. It was horrible. Now if I didn't ever have to worry about this happening it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but being that he's in the military, that fear is always there.

I woke up a little late this morning but it was okay. I did my morning ritual of eating breakfast and then checked my email. Nothing too exciting. I got Maddy off to school, took a shower, and began getting ready for my stress test. All was good. I went to check some messages on my Vonage phone when Nick beeped in. I was thankful to see the number because I didn't hear from him yesterday. He goes on to tell me that their plane is broken (no big surprise there)so he's done for the night but needs to get to bed soon. Turns out they aren't going to end up in Florida after all, which really stinks because he has both a box and suitcase of Maddy's that he was going to give to her mother. Since he's flying back commercially, this could pose a problem. Since they are going to Georgia, they have decided to take a rental car down to Florida to deliver her things. So that news wasn't so bad, except that I worry it will make his trip longer. He says he will still be home by the 7th, but I am not holding my breath on that one. I've learned that when he says he's going to be home not to count on it until he has a ticket in hand or is calling from the airport to be picked up. It's just a fact in my world. We talked for a few more minutes about this and that when he said he needed to go, plus it was almost time to leave for my appointment. I gave him a message to call his boss, and we said goodbye. I will admit that I was very sad to get off the phone with him. I feel like I haven't seen him much (which is true for this past month) and it makes me feel very lonely. I even felt myself tear up when we hung up. I told myself to get over it and move on, I had things to do. Which leads me to another thought, I have been so very emotional the past month. I have done so good in this pregnancy not being emotional and crying at the drop of a hat. However in the last month that has changed. I find myself tearing up over anything that I find sentimental or upsetting. I think a lot of it has to do with my fears. I have so many right now. I know I shouldn't be fearing so much but it's hard with the past I have had. This pregnancy has been very hard for me, yes it has been wonderful and full of great things, but at the same time I have had many hurdles to get over. First it was just hearing a heartbeat, next it was if there was enough fluid, are the baby's organs all functioning, is everything in the right place, the list goes on. It's funny I chose today to express all my worries being that this was the day in my last pregnancy that I gave birth to my sweet baby, Conner. I can't tell you how many emotions are running around in my head today and to top it off it got worse.....

So I was getting my things together to go to my appointment, when the phone rings. It was Nick telling me that he spoke with his boss and he will be heading to the desert from July 15th through Oct. 30th, I believe. At first I thought, "Wow that sucks!" As he spoke about how it would be a good thing, we would have more money, he could get in shape, I found my heart dropping. You see Nick has always enjoyed deployments for these reasons. Once he's over there he will tell me how much he dislikes it, but initially he's over the moon. I am always upset about it. Who wants to live alone for months at a time? That was supposed to be a perk of coming here, NO deployments. Part of the reason I was able to cope with coming here, away from all I knew, was that my husband would be by my side. I think we were told the longest TDY was 2 weeks. So for two years we have been lucky, but now not so much. This brought up so many issues for me that I have been a mess ever since. Luckily I waited until we were off the phone to let it out. I found myself thinking of so many reasons why it upset me. My first reason was because of Kara. I worry about being here with her by myself, I am new to the whole parent of a baby thing. It upsets me that he will miss so many of her firsts. I wonder if she will even know who he is when he returns. I had already been dealing with the fact that she won't see her family until she's either 9 months or over a year old. It makes me very sad that she won't really know them until she's at least 2 1/2 years old. I do plan on showing her pictures and telling her who everyone is, but it's still not the same. I know that she will still be young enough for it not to be a big problem, but it still makes me sad. I was always close to my family. I feel pain for not only my daughter, but for our family that's going to miss out on so much of her life. To know that Nick will miss almost 3 months of it right here at the beginning breaks my heart. I know that this is the life we chose to have together. I knew that he had a job that called for him to be gone a lot before I married him, but I don't think I realized how hard it can be sometimes. I think I would be handling this a lot better if I was closer to home, but I'm not, I am half way across the world. Once I thought of that, it was like a snowball. I realized that Maddy will no longer be here, my friend Samantha will be leaving a few weeks after him and it made me feel so lonely. Thinking about Maddy leaving also got me all upset. Sure she has her moments when I feel overwhelmed with her, but thinking of not having her here, is very upsetting to me. I am used to having her here when he's gone now. Life will be much more quite and lonely that's for sure. Truth is I don't have many friends here. Sure I know about a dozen people but no one that I really hang out with much. I have Tangela, my neighbor, and Britteny, who's due in July, and some other people I could hang out with. But I don't know about all that; I am sure I will sometimes. A lot of time I do want to be alone, but I am also used to Nick being home within a few weeks of being gone. The thought of living here for over 2 1/2 months without him seems unbearable to me. I know some people would just use that time to go back to the states, but I can't do that. First of all, there's my pets that would cost $150 a week to board. Second, there's a rule of not being away from your house for more than a month or you lose it. There are also a lot of other issues that would come into play. Like how often do you stay with this person or that person. Kara won't be old enough for her passport to be done yet. Having a newborn without a set schedule and way of life. It sounds like more work than anything. I know that will be every one's solution for me, but I know that it's not what I will feel comfortable with. So I just have to come to terms with it and know that I will get through it. I know God has his reasons, so I am trying my best to see the good side of things. Keep in mind I said TRYING. I realize it could be worse. A lot of military people are gone for 6 month to a year. So I am thankful it's not going to be that long, but no matter what it's always a scary thing. I won't even go into the things that freak me out about him being over there. Part of me is always a little angry with him when he shows excitement about a deployment. I realize he has to see the good in it or he would be miserable, but it's still hard. I tend to take it personal at times, I could never enjoy knowing I would be away from him that long. But to each their own.

So after the joy of this news, I head to my appointment, crying the entire drive. I did my best to straighten myself out before I saw the nurse. Although she still asked me if everything was okay. I lied and said, "Yes, I am just tired (I am famous for this line when I don't want to discuss something)." So I had to stay later at my test because baby Kara's heart wasn't accelerating like it was supposed to, which worried me a little. I also had 3 contractions while I was there. I had discussed with the nurse my worries over a pelvic pressure I have been having. She said that since the baby's head is so low that will probably keep getting worse. She also asked if I had my cervix checked yet. I told her that I haven't been checked and preferred not to be until after Nick gets back. I can imagine how freaked out I would be if I had already made it to a one or two. I would rather not know. So she agreed for me to wait. I am just hoping and praying this little one will hold out a little longer. She seems very excited to enter this world.

So being that I have been typing for over an hour now, I think I will try to take a nap. I don't want to think all these sad thoughts anymore. I feel tired and exhausted. I am going to keep telling myself, "When God closes a door, he opens a window." Thanks for listening.

Kara's scrapbook, so far

I think a few pages didn't get saved but you get the gist of it. I have a few more to get done this week.

Stress test #2 and #3

So the last two test have went pretty good. Last week I had a 2 minute contraction (they've been lasting longer) that caused me to stay longer but other than that things were good. My fluid level keeps going up which is great!! She's a very active baby, but today she had to get buzzed so she would move some more. I guess she was feeling lazy like I was this morning. Her head is low but not expected to make an appearance in the next few weeks. Nick will be leaving for a TDY to the states on Friday so pray that this baby doesn't try to come while he's gone. He will hopefully be back on April 6th. Once he gets back I am going to do everything I can to get her to come, I am ready to see her. I have been feeling pretty good, just a little tired and swelling a bit (which hurts!!). I hope you all are well also. Take care my blogging buddies!!

Stress test #1

My first stress test went well. The first thing we did was an ultrasound, which determined that she's not breech anymore but into position to enter this world!! She's very low, which probably explains why I can't get out of the bathroom and why my lower back is killing me. There is plenty of fluid around her. They want you to have at least an 8 and mine was at 11, so that's always good to hear. Next was the monitors being hooked up to my tummy. It's just like when you are in labor, one for the baby's heartbeat and one for contractions. Luckily I didn't have any contractions during that time. The baby had to have two accelerations of her heartbeat that last at least 15 seconds within the 20 minute time period. She's so active that she did it within the first 6 minutes. However, I had to continue to be hooked up for the entire 20 minutes. It went pretty good so I felt relieved. I hope next week is just as good!

New due date

It seems that I have been wrong this whole time about my due date. I was under the impression that it was May 7th but I learned last Wednesday that it's actually May 4th!! I was glad to hear it. A few days sooner is pretty cool.



glitter-graphics.com

My newest photo shoot

So since I turned 30 weeks yesterday, I knew it was time to take pictures again. Suddenly I got an idea to use a sheet as my background. I used a scrapbook layout I had seen in a magazine to figure out poses to use. It was quite challenging to set the camera for each pose. I was crawling all over the floor and almost got stuck a few times. Yes, it's true my belly gets me to where I can't move sometimes. It was so crazy I was laughing at myself. I had a lot of fun doing all the pics. I guess that's what happens when you have nothing else to do by clean house.

Oops, I didn't know my belly was hanging out the bottom! This was a terribly hard pose to get into, can't you tell by the way my eyes are? Believe me my belly was hurting with this one.
Getting out there! Whoa! White makes things look bigger right?
From behind you would never know I had all that in front of me. At least I hope not. Humor me people!
Loving my belly! Well usually, sometimes it's a big pain, literally.
Loving the thought of her! I am getting so anxious to see her, it get s me all excited!
Giving God all the praise, without him it wouldn't be possible! I saw someone do this pose in a magazine and that's what I thought about.
This is one of my favorites, it looks sweet.
From behind, I have a little bit of a waist left. Yes I know I have a booty, always have, always will!

What a difference two weeks can make!!!

Front view
Side view
Look at that belly, WOW!!! I think I was poking it out a little. :)
Man my face is filling out too, YUCK! I need a tan so bad, can't wait for one this summer!!!

No more ultrasounds :(

So I went to my high risk doc yesterday for the last time, assuming that nothing crazy happens, and she said all is perfect with Kara. She weighs about 2lb 10 oz. and should be between 7 1/2 to 8 pounds at birth if she goes full term. She said my cervix looked long so no chance of her trying to escape anytime soon. I told her about my 4D ultrasound and how big the baby's foot was so she went to look at it. Then she asked me how tall Nick is, stating that she may just end up being tall. But I wear a size 8 1/2 shoe and am only 5'3 so I guess maybe she's getting it from me. Who knows?? I was very relieved as always to know that everything is good with Kara. It has been a breath of fresh air from my last experience. I find myself dreaming about her almost everynight. My anticipation of seeing her is growing, but at the same time I know I have so much more to get done before her arrival. Hopefully I will have most things worked out by the first week of March after my baby shower. My friend and I will be working on the invitations this week, so we can get them out by next Wednesday. Did I mention my baby shower (on March 1st) is going to be luau themed? I am very excited about it. I will be sure to post pics for all to see!!

Almost 7 months, whoo hoo!

Okay so I figured I could put up my new belly pic from the other day. Yeah I know my butts as big as my belly, but hey baby got back. LOL. I've been having printer issues so I can't scan in some pics from my newest 4D. I have a pic of me as a baby that looks just like one of the new pics. It's pretty weird. Watch she'll come out looking just like Nick. I really hope she gets his eyes, but if she gets mine that'll be okay too. So I went to my friend's little boy's birthday party last night and this girl says to me, "See how big you are, that's how big I was at 9 months!" I was like, "Okay!?!" I told her I was almost 7, what did she want me to say to that??? The funny part was the girl was bigger than I am now and her daughters 5 years old. I guess she's still working on losing that baby weight. I know it sounds mean, but you know it peeves me when people make dumb comments like that. What was the point really? I just don't get it. Anyway, things are going good, I go for another ultrsound tomorrow with my high risk doc. Unfortunatley I probably won't get to scan any pics she gives me. If I feel calm later I may try again, maybe. Yesterday I was ready to throw the whole thing out the window.

4D ultrasound

The arm and the face.
Arm and face with the best view.
Arm covering the face.
Looks like she's scratching her head.
Arm over head, some body and the knee.
Maybe she had a headache.
Chubby cheeks.
Her pretty face.

Finally after all the wait, I got to see my baby's sweet face. It was so awesome, I couldn't believe it. At first you couldn't see the face because the arm, hand, and foot (which was huge) were in the way. As of right now she's breech, luckily there's time for her to change. Bad news is that both Nick and I believe we saw boy parts rather than girl ones. It really freaked me out. I thought it was just me but then Nick said he saw it too so we got the girl to go check and then the foot was blocking that area. So maybe what we saw was a toe or something else, I don't know. I guess I will have to wait on the cute purple, pink, and brown things I had planned on ordering today. YUCK!!! I hate waiting, I am terribly impatient. I have an ultrasound scheduled for the 11th (next Monday) so hopefully they can easy my worries then. I would of course love a boy too, but I have so much pink and purple already. Oh well, I know it will work out for the best. As long as it's healthy it won't matter. I got a tape of the whole ultrasound that I am going to try to convert to DVD. If I figure it out I will post it on my blog so you can see if you see what I saw. I am going to keep calling the baby a girl for now. Could you imagine me having to bring my son home in a princess outfit? Nick would die. He would probably make me put him in only a diaper and blanket. So until next week, I will be sitting here wondering, waiting, going nuts. Wish me luck. I know Aunt Sandi, I need to stop, I hear you echoing in my head.

6 and 1/2 months yesterday!!

So I went to the doc yesterday for a routine check up and everything was good. Her heartrate is in the 150's and she's measuring a week big (27 weeks and I'm only 26). I will be seeing him again on Feb. 15th and my high risk doc on the 11th. Next Monday I am hoping to get my 3D ultrasound, I almost can't wait!! I can't wait to see Kara's sweet little face! I also am wondering if she really has a pointed nose and is fat. I will be the judge of that thankyouverymuch!!!! I will scan the pictures when I get them for all to see. Hopefully she will be a good baby and won't cover her face. Guess we will see....

Do you ever wonder... why me??

So another interesting appointment to the doc today. I saw my regular OB, Dr. Cummings(previously referred to as Bozo), for a normal appointment. It started out with talking about my ear problem. I have yet to blog the craziness I have dealt with about my ear. On Christmas day I got a terrible ear ache that was accompanied with a full feeling in my right ear. I thought maybe it would subside, but almost a month later I am still dealing with that full feeling. I have been to the doctor a few times concerning this problem and have been put on every medication possible, from Claritin to Antibiotics. The doctor I saw told me that I didn't have any fluid, scarring, or inflammation in my ear, that maybe I am suffering from a collapsing ear syndrome or maybe it's a symptom of this pregnancy. Now this woman was very nice and kind but I thought she may be a little out of the loop on how to diagnose anything dealing with my ear. (Which turns out I was right!!) So today Dr. Cumming looks in my ear and what do you know he finds fluid in it. So he told me to start taking my Sudafed more often and keep up with the antibiotics. I am also supposed to make an appointment with an ENT specialist just to make sure the problem isn't more than the fluid. So it was nice to finally get that settled.

However the fun didn't end there. He asked me if I had been experiencing any fluid loss, bleeding, or contractions. I said everything was fine but that I get braxton hicks everyday. He was very concerned that I am getting them that often and asked me to describe them to him. So I did and turns out he believes they are a bit more serious than braxton hicks, therefore he wanted to check my cervix. WHAT??? HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I knew that I had it done before but I was in labor then and was already in pain so I didn't pay much attention. He replied, "I will have to put my hand in your vagina. It's really not that bad." Oh really is that all doc, just what I wanted today. He kept telling me not to worry it's not that big of a deal. It seems doctors always say this to me until they actually get there hand in there per se. I had get in frog position with my feet put up next to each other and then put my fists under my bottom before he could even begin to get close to my cervix. Yes, he tried numerous times before I got to that position. Relax he kept telling me. Yeah you have someone stick their hand up your pee pee hole and try to relax dude. You are quite flexible he tells me. "Hey, I am not looking for compliments right now doc!!!" So finally he gets to it and it was closed, thank God. Apparently because I have a down turned uterus it has moved up and over my cervix therefore making it very difficult to get to. I already knew this because every doctor tells me things like this. "Wow I've never seen someone as hard to get to as you" or "Your cervix is unusually far back" are some of my favorites. Just what I always wanted a one of a kind cervix that amazes everyone. My goodness!!

So I also talked to him about getting monitored (the doc I saw about my ear said I would be going once a week starting my 27 week mark) and he said he's not planning on putting me through that. If I have any contractions that make me feel uneasy to come straight to the labor and delivery and they would check me out. If Kara tries to make her way out too early then they will put her on steroids (and me on Progesterone) to help her be okay at birth. So I feel happy that they have a plan to help her. However during our conversation he brought up Conner's birth. He wanted to know some details like when I delivered and if he was a stillborn or not. He was like he died in utero right? No, he didn't I told him. But it says he was stillborn. Yes I know what it says but then I told him about his three heartbeats. He looked at me and shook his head, then he wasn't stillborn. I told him he wasn't but for some reason they labeled him that way. He said he had to go by what the paperwork said. I guess I got that look in my eyes and he apologized for bringing it up. I told him it was okay, but that it was a sore subject because they were wrong. I wish that I could have that subject come up and it wouldn't still get me angry but it does. All I wanted was a birth certificate saying that Conner was on this earth and he did exist. I know a piece of paper doesn't matter to the people that count but it's frustrating that to the government he didn't. Another reason it angered me is because had he been issued one, the military would have given us money to help bury him. Instead we had to get our parents to pay for it, which bothers both Nick and me to this day. We didn't want them to have to pay for that, it was right near the holidays and a hard time for money. However we will be eternally grateful for their help. That's what parents do they help their children no matter what. I wish I could have done something to help Conner. Why couldn't he have been given all the options that I am getting for Kara now? I had asked them to give Conner steroids to help his lung development but they said it wouldn't help. Oh the anger I feel.

New belly pic...

This pic was taken last night. I wasn't feeling my best, you may be able to tell from my fake smile and red cheeks. I turned 22 weeks yesterday and man am I showing. :)

She said my baby's fat!!

Here's her profile. That nose doesn't look pointed to me!!
She's looking right at the scanner, looks kind of like an alien. Just kidding!

So it seems my poor little baby is a little chunky. According to the ultrasound she weights over a pound. Her stomach is measuring a few weeks big. I asked the doctor it if was okay and she said it's just because she's fat. She asked me if I was eating extra food. "No, I am not, thankyouverymuch!!!" I actually lost 2 pounds from last weeks visit(I've only gained about 9 pounds total). I figure it's because I have been sick. But anyway, everything else is measuring right on target and everything with her is just perfect. I did get he doc to look at the sex of the baby once more. So the doc says well there's no male parts. So I asked if there were female parts. "Well, I don't really see any but let's go look again." I was so nervous at that point. However, when she looked again she pointed out to me where the girl parts were and said that yes she is definitely a girl. Talk about making someone sweat. I felt much better afterwards. But I will still be getting them to check it out for me at my 3D scan in January. Her heartbeat was 154 so that was good too. I love watching her on the ultrasound. It is so neat. I could see her little hands, arms, legs, and feet moving all around. It was so cute. Her face looks beautiful to me already. Oh that reminds me the doc also said she has a pointed nose, the nerve I swear!! No in all honesty I don't think my doctor was trying to be rude, she's really nice. She did irritate me a little because she wouldn't check out my cold for me. I told her that my ear has been clogged since Christmas Day and she said she didn't have the equipment to look at it for me. "Are you serious??" Now I have to wait until the 2nd to be seen. Apparently you have to have a terrible cold for three weeks before they will give you antibiotics around here. I really hope to be better by then so I can cancel that appointment but who knows? Wish me luck!

Waiting for next ultrasound

You know I had got to where I was okay with thinking the baby was a girl, I wasn't too worried about them being wrong, but this week has thrown me. First was my ultrasound with Dr. Cummings where he couldn't find either girl or boy parts, then my commander's wife (who always knows baby's genders) told me that I am unreadable, and finally my neighbor asked if I was sure it is a girl because I am carrying like it's a boy. To explain about my commanders wife. She is supposed to be a "good witch", not really sure what that means, but she says she has psychic abilities. She told my friend Laci that she has a girl on the way, but when she was trying to figure out for me she said that at first she got a girl vibe but then things got weird like maybe it's not a girl. I really am not sure how much I believe the whole psychic ability thing, but it weirded me out. I am hoping that my next ultrasound will give me better feelings. I am going to express my concerns with my doctor. I mean by now you should be able to see parts determining girl or boy. I know they don't want to give 100% but when you say you don't see either, I get a bit worried. I must go do something to calm myself, happy thoughts!!

For the love of Chocolate!

Whoever said that diamonds were a girl's best friend was surely mistaken, it's chocolate that is her best friend!! So it seems my little girl is like most women, she loves CHOCOLATE!! Yes the past month or so I find myself wanting Chocolate in all forms, ice cream, candy bars, cookies, and the best thing: FUDGE! Yes it's this time of year the I pack on a few extra pounds from nothing other than the mounds of fudge I eat. I have loved fudge since I was a child. My mom would always make it, among other Christmas treats every year. It was well known that the chocolate fudge was my favorite. This year I am already on my second batch, but this time I plan on sharing a little. Maddy was the only one, besides myself, that got any of the last 3 pound batch. Nick could have had some, but he doesn't like fudge. I know what a WEIRDO; his mother would be appalled. Yes, I still love cheese and peanut butter too. She can't get enough of it.

So anyway I went to another appointment on Monday, to see Bozo, but I have decided to change his name. He actually is shaping up so I will start referring to him by his real name, Dr. Cummings. All my blood work testing for Cystic Fibrosis, Down Syndrome, and various Trisonomies came back negative. I will admit I wasn't too terribly nervous about it, since Conner's were negative also, but there's always that chance. So anyway, he went to check the heartbeat and I go, "So no ultrasound today, huh?" (Nick had told me he wanted us to get one since he will be missing mine next week.) So he goes, "No, was I supposed to give you one?" I replied that I didn't know if he was supposed to or not. Then I hear him call to the nurse to bring the abdominal ultrasound in. Ha ha tricked him!! So we got one that didn't really clear anything up for us. He said he didn't see any boy parts but isn't really seeing girl parts either. So he also gave us a 90% chance of a girl. He was like, " yeah I will say it's more than likely a girl, but you never know!" AHHHHH! I know most people don't get 100% sure but, it still tends to make me nervous. He didn't' measure her so I am not sure how she's measuring, I will find out next week on the 27th. Her heartbeat is in the 150's to 160's. So that's good. Luckily she's still showing as a healthy baby and that's all that matters.

18 weeks and counting.....

I meant to take a picture yesterday being that it was the start of my 18th week, but I lost the time in the day. I have been very tired the last three weeks. I thought this was supposed to be my energy period, but it seems I am more tired now than I was in the first trimester. Must be the weather, which is finally staying somewhat cool in the day. The sun still beams down and makes it warm, but it's bearable. I went on to the BX today and found this adorable little Oshkosh overall dress that I couldn't pass up. I know before it's all over she's going to have a million outfits, but it's a girl thing; we like our clothes.

This weekend we will be going to see Enchanted (Maddy's pick) and going to the bowling alley. I am sure it will be a good time, unfortunately Nick has to work on Sunday so we will be just hanging around the house the rest of the weekend. I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

My baby bump

I took this pic for my scrapbook page that I am copying out of a magazine. I think it turned out pretty good, althought I think it makes me look a lot bigger than I am. I will post the page when I do it.