To stay in or not, that is the question.....

We've been struggling with the thought of Nick staying in the military or getting out. It's coming down the wire now and we are still undecided. I've tried listing all the pros and cons down, we've had numerous talks about it and still no decision. It's especially hard to decide to get out of a stable life into an unstable one with the economy like it it. But we are both tired of him being gone, tired of him not being here for every holiday. I know that so many other families are without their spouses for longer periods of time, but they aren't me. So that's the leading reason why he wants out. He is thinking of becoming a cop so that he can still help others. I just worry that he won't be able to find a job, since very few places are hiring. Then there's the whole thing with me having to start back to work. The thought of leaving Kara all day breaks my heart. I have never been away from her for more than a few hours. How could I do it all day, all week? I know several mothers do it, but I know it has to be terribly hard. I know if we get out it's going to be a huge lifestyle change. But I would LOVE to have my husband home all the time!! That would just be weird, but so wonderful! So all I can do now is pray that God will lead us to the best possible life we can have right now. I know it will all work out.

Job offer???

So I go to the bank today to make a deposit and get a teller that was really nice. She first commented on how much Kara looks like me, which of course makes me smile. Who wouldn't want to be told their beautiful baby looks like them? We got to talking and she was surprised that I signed my check correctly (they were written to Jodie rather than my real name). I told her I was a teller for 3 1/2 years at a credit union. She got all excited asking me if I was interested in a job? I told her I wasn't because I would rather stay home with my baby. She was like well if you change your mind we have some openings and have a big turn around here. They would hire you on the spot! So I got to thinking about how much I really enjoyed being a teller (not enough to not stay with my baby, but overall I liked it a lot). Remember my previous post saying I wanted to be a teacher? Well, I think I do, but I am not so sure anymore. I think dealing with the kids would be fun, but I am not so sure how well I would deal with the parents. You know people get crazy over their kids, which I understand being a parent myself, but sometimes I think it might be really hard to do. So anyway, I was thinking about how much I liked being a teller. I had really great hours, holidays, nights, and weekends off, and I like dealing with money. I like counting money, rolling coin, and dealing with computers (for banking anyway). However, I feel so guilty that I am not using my degree. I mean it's pretty bad when you make more money as a teller than you would using your actual degree. That was the problem I kept running into years ago. It was like any job I found either paid crappy or you had to have experience to get hired. I have never understood that. How do you get experience with it if no one will hire you without experience?? It boggles my mind. So anyway, I feel bad for not using my degree, but I realize that it wasn't the best degree to get. At the time it sounded so wonderful. Health Education-you can use it in so many jobs(so I was told)!!! Notsomuch people! I wanted to work at the American Cancer Society (where I did my internship) but they only have 6 people (in each office) who actually get paid to work there, everyone else is a volunteer. Which is nice but you gotta get paid to be able to afford life, you know. I told myself my last year of college that I had messed up. I should have just got a business degree, they are so universal. I could have used that at so many jobs. Don't get me wrong, I loved the classes associated with my degree. If I could have a job with the Cancer Society that would be awesome, but they are hard to get. Therefore making my job possibilities limited. So here I am thinking that when I do return to work, I may want to be a teller again. I know that doesn't sound too ambitious. Tellers make decent pay, not great, but decent. I feel like I should do more with myself, but overall isn't whatever make you happy what really counts? I am still debating the whole teacher thing. Luckily I have a few more years before I have to decide. Right now being a mother is my job and I think that's the best job in the world. I wouldn't even refer to it as a job, but as a privilege. I can't of anything I would rather be doing right now. Especially when I look in to those big beautiful blue eyes. Thank you Nick for supporting my decision to be a stay at home mom. I appreciate it so much. I love you baby!

Selling Christmas cards!

So I am having a Christmas Card Workshop next Saturday night. I ordered 25 sets of 12 cards because I had sent an email out to our entire squadron as advertisement. Well, nobody replied saying they wanted to come so here I am stuck with all these cards. However, I have gotten lucky, which is amazing for me, because my neighbor, Judy, who had a show last night is trying to get them sold for me. She is doing such a good job. She has already sold 5 sets for me. I am so lucky that she is willing to help me so much. I also have about 6 sets that are reserved for Saturday. So God willing I will sell all these sets so I can return the money I took from our savings to do this. So last night was Judy's party. Ten people were in attendance, which is really great, because usually the average is 6 people. Only 3 people have put in orders so far, but some of the others are saying they will be ordering this week. So with only three orders her party is up to $300!! I am so excited so since yesterday was the party and I failed to blog I am going to say I am thankful for my job. I know what a job right? I get to do what I love and make some money. It was really fun teaching the girls how to use the Close to my Heart products last night. They were full of questions and luckily I had answers. I really enjoyed it. I hope that this will be a start to a good business for me. My fingers are crossed. The party closes Wednesday so I will let you know my final tally. Wish me luck!!

Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb

I am so excited. The did away with bombs on the buses. We no longer have to do the bus search. We don't have to go in as early either. Apparently, it wasn't required this whole time. A lot of people were mad about losing their extra 15 minutes, but I was more than happy to give it up. I feel more secure in my job now.

I am so tired!!!

Okay so yeah now I have a job. I am happy about it, but man I am so not used to having to get up. I usually get up around the same time, but I always had the option of sleeping in. My alarm went off at 4:20am this morning. Wow!! I haven't seen that time of morning in like... NEVER!! It is way too early and oh joy I get to do it again tomorrow. I went to bed at eight last night and am planning on doing the same tonight. Okay so I guess I should blog my experience. It wasn't so bad. The kids are good for the most part, a little loud at times, but good. I went over my little instructions of no drinking, eating, or getting up from your seat thing and it went well. The craziest part is that my bus driver seems to have a crush on me. He's Japanese (an Okinawan actually) and wants to know all about me. He speaks English pretty good. He has to do signs for some things but I can understand him. He was rather down when I told him I was married. "Oh" he said. He apparently is just recently divorced and has a baby. Whom he referred to has his "handsome girl". I don't think he knows how to say pretty. Kind of funny. I try to be as nice to him as I can without seeming to interested to talk. Because he freaks me out a bit, I swear he watches me in his rear view. Eww I gotta move on I am getting freaked out. So the rest of my day..... So I didn't have a bomb on my bus, thank God, but there's always tomorrow. As of now I am not working Thursday or Friday and I feel happy about that. I need some rest up time. Nick is off on Friday so I am hoping we get to spend some time together. Maddy will be in school however, which stinks. She is off on Monday so we are hoping to do some fun stuff this weekend. That is if the rain will stay away....

So here it goes...

I have been called in to my first day at work. It is only the first day of school and apparently someone has already called in. I am also working Tuesday and Wednesday. I am so nervous, but it is time to go so I will blog my experience later. Wish me luck!!

Alternate, yeah that's me

So as you can tell by the title, I was given an alternate position. I know I said what is meant to be will happen so here I am an alternate. I was thinking it may be a good thing since I have Maddy worry about, but now I am not so sure. Now I don't know what my schedule is, I won't know day to day. What happens when they call me at 5am to come to work and I don't have anyone to get Maddy on the bus? Or they call me to go on an afternoon route that doesn't get back until 4pm after Maddy would already be home? I am not guaranteed to be on the bus that goes to her school. There are several bases on this island that the buses go to. So now I feel really frustrated. What do I do? My schedule will be different every time I work. I am also concerned about forgetting all my "rules" that I have to follow. It is easy when you do a job everyday, but when you bounce around here and there it can be easy to forget what you are doing. At our training, they kept bringing up all kinds of reasons how you could be terminated. If you don't find the fake bomb they plant on your bus, if you touch a child, if you don't handle things the way they think you should, etc. Trust me they have more rules for you than they do the students. Seriously. And they contradicted themselves several times. So now I feel even more nervous than I did before. I assume they give you a position as an alternate in the belief that you will always be available. That when they call, you need to be ready to work and drop whatever plans you may have. That is really not the way I work. I like to know what I am doing before I do it. I am not too much of a spontaneous person. I like plans; I like schedules. So now I feel really stuck. They say you will get plenty of work as an alternate, which is great, but I now have a child to worry about because Nick isn't always here. I can't depend on him to be able to be here to get her on and off the bus everyday. As a matter of fact he will be gone for a few weeks in September. What am I going to do then? I can't very well put her in an after school program when I don't know when she will need to go there and when she won't. Not only that but they have a waiting list, so they don't have any openings as of now. I feel very angry right now. Why couldn't they have let me know this last week so that I could have figured out what to do. Rather than telling me three days before school starts. To make matters worse, they said they have four people that will be out Monday but didn't go ahead and tell me that I will be working. I guess they will wait until Monday morning for that. Part of me wants to tell them to find someone else, but another part of me is upset that I would be losing they type of job I have been wanting for over three years (no I don't mean with the school bus, I mean government). So if anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears. Send them my way.

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to work I go...

Okay so yeah I started my job today, well it was my training but I got paid for today nonetheless. I don't know what I think of it yet. I am a little frustrated that I have to wait until Wednesday, maybe even Thursday, to get my schedule. And come to find out I may even be an alternate (someone who is only guaranteed one day a month of work). Yeah so that would really suck as far as having a paycheck goes. On the other hand it would help with me not having to worry about what to do with Maddy while I work. But I had finally got a job that I think I may like and that pays well and yes is even a Government job. So wouldn't it be my luck that I would only get a few days of work a month. I really need my optimism kick in here. Okay so I am just going to go ahead and say whatever I get is what is meant for me either way. Yeah I am okay with it now. Yeah really I am. I will let you know when the verdict is in.