Where is the meaning in things?

Recent events in my life have caused me to think about things, a lot of things. So while lost in these thoughts I have started to wonder why people do the things they do. Why is it that we usually throw out "love ya" instead of "I love you"? Are we really so lazy we can't say the full phrase? I may be a little silly in saying this, but doesn't "love ya" sound kind of dull and less meaningful than "I love you"? I think most people I exchange these words with say only "love ya". It was brought to my attention the other day when my mom actually said all three words to me. Not that I have ever doubted her love for me, but she usually just says "love ya" or we don't say it at all at the end of our conversations. It actually made me feel really good when she said it. It meant more to me for some reason. Which brings me to my next thought. Why are people such creatures of habit? You know, everyday my husband kisses me goodbye before he leaves for work and goodnight every night. What's the problem you ask? The problem is that this is a habit, not something he does because he is feeling romantic or loving. Not that I don't enjoy him kissing me, I do, but I miss the times he would kiss me for no reason at all. What happened to those kisses? What happened to the "I missed you so much that I want to kiss you right now" or the "I am so attracted to you I want to show you" kisses? Sure there are times my husband will kiss me other than the usual two times a day, but usually it's because he wants something more (you know what I mean). I look at teenagers and feel envious of them. Silly I know. But don't you remember when kissing was all you did, so you did it often and it had so much meaning? Sometimes I wish my husband and I would make out like teenagers and it could end there. Not that I don't enjoy the other things that usually happen with our make out sessions, but we have a one year old and there isn't always time for that. Where is the spontaneity? Does anyone else wonder these things? I know I am not entirely alone in these thoughts because my BFF (April) said she feels the same way. My main reason for posting this is to get some insight on why people think things get this way. Do you feel that habits can make things lose meaning? Do you thing saying "love ya" after every phone conversation can make it lose meaning? I have so much more I could go on and on with this topic but I don't want to bore you to tears so I will stop for now.....tomorrow I maybe back on my soapbox. LOL Stay tuned!

An apology

She loves her monkey, actually she loves ALL of her monkeys.
Her first Valentine's Day!

My little love bug.

She has a Snow White thing going on in this one.

This one looks like my baby pictures. Probably because you can't see the color of her eyes! I made it look like an old photo using Photoshop.

K is for Kara, duh!

She takes big girl baths now! It's her FAVORITE time of day.

I was so PROUD of this pic. It was my first time using the close-up setting on my camera. I love how it fades out the background. No Photoshop needed.

Kissing the back of her baby's head.

You can see the joy in her face.

Not happy to be Wonder Woman. Supergirl is more her cup of tea.

Chardae trying to pull Kara closer. I love their faces in this one.

After reading what I wrote on my blog, my husband called to apologize to me. He felt so bad that I got upset. He was clueless that I had even felt that way. Silly man! He called me that next morning to say that he does love my blog and doesn't want me to quit. So there you have it, I am back in the saddle again.(not that I was really going to quit, just take a break!) :) Unfortunately that blog helped me learned that there are some RUDE people out there. My time is far too valuable to waste time on people who are so unkind.

I have been wanting to blog for a while now but life has been too busy to do so. Speaking of my little monkey just woke up from her nap. She has a slight cold and isn't feeling the best these days. It breaks my heart, poor baby. But before I go I would like to share some of my favorite photography moments from the last few weeks. ENJOY! I will be posting more soon.....

20 reasons I know I live in Japan

You know you live (or have lived) in Japan (on or off base) when:

1. You know that someone saying hi (Hai) doesn't mean hello, but yes.

2. You bow when greeting people, even after you have left the country.

3. You have rushed home to beat the 5pm national anthem that makes everyone stop on the side of the road.

4. You have stood up for the National Anthem before a movie.

5. You show your ID EVERYWHERE you go. So much that when you are on leave you still accidentally pull it out at Walmart.

6. You own something with Kanji on it.

7. You know what Konnichwa, Arigatou gozaimasu, and Dou itashimashite mean.

8. You know how to count to 10 in Japanese: ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku, shichi, hachi, kyu, ju

9. You have used a toilet that is in the floor.

10. You have eaten teppanyaki.

11. You have come to hate small parking lots, unless you bought a tiny car.

12. You have a mink blanket as does everyone in your family.

13. You have mailed everyone you know either a Japanese doll or some type of china.

14. You have at least one child with Japan as the birthplace.

15. You think Vonage is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

16. You have to count the time difference in your head almost every time you call home.

17. Driving on the left side of the road is no big deal, after you've hit a couple curbs, been on the wrong side and someone waves you to the correct side of the road.

18. You know that you can get an array of different foods in Japan to include: Mexican, Thai, Chinese, and Mongolian (and they are awesome!).

19. You've been to a beloved 100 yen store and end up spending 2000 yen before you know it.

20. While the experience of Japan is cool, you can't help but miss the little things like Walmart, Target, and Arby's!!!


This is a list I made up all on my own. I was just thinking about it the other day and came up with the list. I could probably have added way more but I am about ready to hit the sack. Happy blogging!!!

Blissful day

Today had to be one of the best days I have had in a while. It started with me getting to sleep in. Both Kara and the dogs were still asleep when I woke up at 8:45. It was so nice. Usually one of the two wakes me up and I feel so tired. I went and mailed out some boxes that I had been meaning to get out. Then we went to the Disney/character store off base, where I found Kara a Care Bear suitcase. It is too cute!

At about 4pm, I got a call about my dining room table I had for sale. The lady came to look at it and decided she wanted it. So we loaded it up in her van. Now I am $100 richer!! Whoo Hoo!!

Kara and I played tonight while listening to sweet music. Including this one, which made me cry:
http://http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=SzmgAM8rIgo

Then I read her a few stories and put her to bed at 9pm. She has got to where she will put herself to sleep. I just lay her in her bed and she plays until she's ready to go to sleep. It is so awesome. So after I put her to bed, I took a nice warm bath. I used some really great bath salts too that smell like lavender. It was so very relaxing. Now I am going to blog a bit and then hit the sack.



PS I wanted to share a sweet moment from last night's story time:

While I read Bambi to Kara, I noticed that my two dogs (missed a pic of Tink) and cat were listening in too. It was a very sweet rewarding moment for me. I truly felt like a Disney character myself reading to all the little animals. :) Kara's quilt had fallen on the floor and Chloe took full advantage, see her in the background? The next picture is a close up of her.

Here is Anakin all cozy under her little table that has the lamp on it. I know I promised pics of the nursery but I am not totally done with it yet. Whenever I do finish I will post some, I promise!

The dreaded day has come

So after weeks of dreading this day, it has come and gone. Today I watched my husband leave for yet another deployment. This is his 7th one, I believe, in the last nine years. Granted I haven't been around for those full nine years, only six, but it has been a long road. I hate every time he leaves. No, it doesn't get any easier, if anything it gets harder. I used to never worry about him when he was gone. I danced around in my little happy world where everything was wonderful. Sad to say, life has changed me in to somewhat of a pessimist. I am now worried. Worried that something will happen to him, that he will be there longer than he was told, and worse that he won't return. I hate that I have to even think that way. He assured me that he has a great crew and that bad things haven't happened in a long time to his plane. As sweet as it was of him to tell me these things, it didn't help much, a little, but not much. I guess it's normal to worry about your husband/spouse (or son/daughter) in times like these. I am going to try my hardest to get that positivity back in my life. To see the glass half full rather than half empty. You see I have to do this because I now have a child to look after. She is my number one priority and I have to make her happy. I want her to see the world as a good place. I want her to know that in times like these we have to take the good out of it and roll with it. So let's see what's good about it?? The money, Nick's career, hmmm....... The money?? Oh I already said that. I am trying to use this time to think about what I want out of life. He has been asking me where I would want to live if we weren't in the military anymore? Somewhere colder!!! Truth is I don't really know. I think I want to be a teacher, but again I don't know. Maybe these next few months will enlighten me in some way. That's what I am hoping for anyway. It's challenging, but I guess I am up for it. I hope you all had a nice 4th of July. I will have to post some pics later of ours. We had a nice time. Nothing much else has been going on here. I went to a Japanese clothing store today (after dropping him off) and got three shirts. That was kind of cool until I realize that Kara's diaper had leaked onto my shirt. Yeah, that was the second time she had christened me for the day. Nothing like pee on your jeans and poop on your shirt. But I wouldn't trade those funny moments for anything. I find humor in moments like that. My sweet child was so silly today. She wouldn't wake up to tell Nick goodbye. I think she was vetoing the idea of it. As soon as we returned to the parking garage she was awake and happy. I wonder when she's going to realize her daddy is gone??? Thinking about it breaks my heart. They have a really special bond already. You can just see the joy they bring each other when he's holding her. It is truly indescribable but a beautiful thing to watch. I will miss seeing that. I can't wait to be able to introduce them back to each other. Gotta go now I am depressing myself. Hope you all had a nice weekend.

Finally....

So I finally finished my 200th post, go below to find it. I did it on 200 wishes for Kara's life. Sure I probably have 1000 wishes for her life, but it was tough to write them down. Thinking about how her life is going to be was weird. I don't want to think about her growing up. She will be 6 weeks tomorrow and I can't believe it. I have to go to my 6 week postpartum appointment tomorrow, wish me luck!! My mom is here visiting so I don't know how often I will be able to post. I will try to post some new pics tomorrow. Thank you for all your nice comments. Have a nice weekend.

Reality

The other day I was talking to my mother-in-law about how I think turning 30 is going to be really hard for me. She said that 30 was harder for her than any other age. We concluded that it's because when you are younger you think 30 is old. No, I don't think that anymore, but I do believe that my 30th birthday will bother me.

While driving down the road a few days ago, I realized my birthday isn't too far away. I will be turning 27, which is still kind of your mid-twenties, so it shouldn't bother me. However, I believe it does. I certainly don't feel that old, I feel more of a 20 year old. Why does age matter? It is after all a number. Like I said, I don't feel that old. Sometimes I still feel like that same girl I was in high school, just more mature. I wouldn't want to go back to being a teenager, but my early twenties were a fun age. My teenage years were filled with endless drama that now would drive me insane. I know people say they want to go back to that age because you have less responsibility and worries, but I just don't think it's for me. I have become so much more independent since high school and I like that. I know that I can be in a house by myself and not be scared. I have lived by myself for months at a time and been fine with it. I don't necessarily ever want to live that way again, but I at least know I can do it. I remember one night in high school, I spent by myself and was scared to death. Every noise made me jump and I barely slept. I feel fortunate to know that I can take care of myself. However, having said that, I am not sure I enjoy that my age keeps going up. Wouldn't it be nice to be able to lock into an age and stay that way for you whole life? Getting older reminds me that everyone I know is getting older too. The older you get the more people die, the bigger your kids get, and time goes by quicker and quicker. I guess the only thing to do is enjoy whatever age you are in and never take things for granted. Live you life in whatever age you feel you are not what age you actually are. Life is certainly more fun that way.

My apple pie pic

So here it is my apple pie that was so very yummy. I would share the recipe but it's down stairs and I find myself feeling lazy right now. I will have to post it soon. Since I am behind on my thankful list I will update myself:

November 23rd: I am thankful for rest. For being able to take a nap or just lay down in the middle of the day.

November 24th: I am thankful for running water and electricity. We are such a spoiled generation. We have no idea of the hardships people used to have to endure.

November 25th: Today I am thankful for emotions both good and bad, because without them life would be a lot harder. I think having emotions make us feel better. What if you couldn't sit down and cry when you've had a hard day? It would feel awful. What if you couldn't laugh when something was funny? For these things I am thankful.

Weekend update!

So this weekend, while it was nice with the holiday, has dragged on for me because I have been so anxious to find out the sex of the baby, can't wait!! We find out tomorrow around 11:30 am, YEAH! So anyway, we had a pretty nice weekend. We went bowling one day, where I won two games over Maddy and Nick. What can I say I have that talent. LOL. I did a little Christmas shopping with all the sales, which to be honest weren't that great, but I managed to get a few good deals. We watched a lot of Christmas movies, which of course made me so happy. We were supposed to watch One Magic Christmas (one of my favorites) tonight but somehow Nick weaseled his way out of it. BRAT! He says he thinks it's a dumb movie, but I know he likes it deep down somewhere. He said the same about "It's a Wonderful Life", but had me start watching it over from the beginning so he could know what was going on. I guess guys don't like to admit to liking those kind of movies. They are silly. I had my Christmas card workshop last night, which went okay. I enjoyed talking with all the girls. I only sold 4 extra card sets, but I was glad to. Everyone had a really good time. They are all anxious to see the new book that comes out January 1st. They all plan on making orders, so that made my night. I also have another party booked for January so that's pretty cool. Oh and I forgot to tell you that my party I had last week closed with $450 worth of orders. I was pretty happy about it. So anyway, today we went and watched Fred Claus. Oh my goodness it was WONDERFUL. It was both funny and sappy. I cried during one part and laughed my head off in others. It's one of those movies I will HAVE to buy when it comes out. You need to see it if you haven't. I enjoyed it so much! I hope you all had a nice holiday weekend as well.

Birthday party tomorrow!

Tomorrow we are having Maddy's birthday party at the park. I rented a bouncy boxing ring that everyone is very excited about. I am jealous that I will be unable to participate in the fun, but oh well. I will be the photographer for sure. So I will try to get some pics posted tomorrow night, that is if I have enough energy left after all the festivities. I didn't write what I was thankful for yesterday so let me say my pets. They provide me with so much enjoyment and I adore them. Today I feel thankful for nature. The breeze, the birds chirping, the sunshine, all of it. It is a wonderful and beautiful sight everyday. What a beautiful world God has created for us.

For those of you that don't have a blog...

I know that I have some friends and family that read my blog. So I have decided that you all need to get one too so I can read about your life. It's not fair you only get to read about mine. I want to have people to read about too. Get my point. I know some of you are busy, and don't think you have the time. You may not want to share your life, or you don't think it looks like fun. I am here to tell you blogging is SO FUN!! You get addicted quickly. You will have something happen and can't wait to get home to blog it. It is really cool too when you can write stuff that everyone can read and not have to do the whole individual emails(which I am horrible at, but that's because I have so many people to write.) It is much easier to just blog about your life and then everyone knows what you are up to. You can also comment on things happening to your friends IF you have a blog account. And folks it's FREE, just like myspace, facebook, and email. You can upload pictures for everyone to see. It really is fun. So think about it. Are you thinking about it? Are you? huh? huh? You need to be. I need some friends in blogland. Sure I enjoy the two I have but I feel the need for more. So I am not going to beg you, but I am going to ask nicely for you to join. If you do please send my your address so I can get to reading about YOU! I will be waiting to hear from you.......