God's greatest gift

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful women out there. I went yesterday to Angie's blog (it's in my blogs I read) and found myself feeling so thankful for my daughter. If you haven't read her blog, you should (but bring some tissues). She lost her daughter a little over a month ago and has written all about her experience with the loss. I feel connected to her since I too have lost a child. Every time I go to her blog I am covered in tears, it touches my heart so much. I find her very uplifting in that she's still so close to God and still gives him thanks for everything. I didn't ever go away from God in my experience, but I do admit I had a time of being angry with him. So anyway, after reading some of her recent entries, I found myself feeling so thankful. As I read her blog, Kara was in my arms sleeping so peaceful. I looked down at her and felt overwhelmingly grateful to have her here with me. I do believe that my experience has made her more precious to me. Sometimes things happen that make you realize how lucky you are, and Angie's blog does that for me. I remember the feeling of emptiness as my stomach went back to size after Conner. I longed to feel his kicks again, or to just be able to hold him once more. Now my arms are full with a beautiful baby girl and I couldn't be happier. She is God's greatest gift and I will never allow myself to forget that. So to all of you mother's out there, cherish your babies, toddlers, elementary age, teenagers, and even adult children. God has blessed us all with the greatest gift he has to give. I pray tonight for the women out there that want a child. I believe if you want a child and have a means to support them with that you should be given one, however life isn't always that fair. I know several women that are wanting a child but are having a hard time getting one. I have been there and know how hard that can be. So for all those women, I am going to say a special prayer that you will be given the gift of a child. Be thankful for what you have and have a wonderful day.





PS Here's some pics of my family today. We went to brunch at the NCO club for Mother's Day. Afterwards Kara and I took a long nap on the couch. It doesn't get any better than that!! Maddy wrote me some sweet little poems. Here's one: The grass is green, the sky is blue, roses are violet, just as lovely as you. And another: You're as loving and kind as an angel. You're as pretty as a rose. Now isn't that sweet?

Look at her cute little barrette.

All of us together

I love this pic, but Kara was mad in it.

Maddy, Kara, and me on Mother's Day. How sweet?

My 27th birthday

Our Family
I was contracting in this pic!

It was my 27th birthday (April 15) and I was in labor. All we did that day was go the hospital, go
walk, go back, repeat. I was so ready to have her and tired. I had to get some really uncomfortable things done that day. I was 4 centimeters dilated and contracting every 4-6 minutes. I got my cervix checked 5 times (which is always very painful for me) and it was terrible. Nick didn't have time to get me a cake or anything. We did manage to eat dinner at Chili's, which was nice. I will admit it was my worst birthday ever, but it just wasn't meant for her to come that day. She wanted her own birthday (my cousin's is the 16th) so she waited until the 17th to make her appearance. It's already hard to remember what my life was like before she was here. I know that I wouldn't go back to that life for anything in this world. I adore being a mother full time. I get to hold her whenever I want to and that is the most amazing thing in the world. I never got that with my sweet Conner and I am enjoying every minute I get with my daughter. I feel in some way that I am honoring Conner by trying to cherish every moment with Kara. I know he's looking down on us and feels happy. She will have a guardian angel for her whole life, her big brother.

Mommy's girl

I love looking at her.
I can't get enough of her like this.
Kisses from mommy.
Amazed by this little girl, that's me.
See her cute bracelet with her name on it. My BFF got that made for her.

Her many faces...

I love this face, it's how she looks when she's staring in my eyes. Melts my heart.
Look it's almost a smile.
This is her throwing a fit. She's screaming in this pic.

Silly face!

One of my favorite faces she makes. It's like she's saying "Oh"
This is the face she makes when she's cooing.
Sucking in that bottom lip.
Sleeping beauty!
Making the "Oh" face at daddy.

She's a bouncer!

Look at that hair, monkey hair is what I call it!
Sound asleep!
Pretty in pink!

My MIL (Kari- Just Livin' Large) sent this pretty bouncer to Kara a week after she was born. It has helped so much because before that she slept in her car seat when we were down stairs. Her swing wasn't quite small enough for her to keep her head upright.

My mom also bought a bouncer that she is bringing with her when she comes to visit on the 25th. So now I will have one for upstairs and one for down. What a blessing those things are. Kara loves being in hers. It plays music and vibrates. So thanks to both my MIL and my mother for the bouncers.

Her blanket

WHOOPS! I wrote this on Saturday but forgot to push publish post so it was just saved.

So for show and tell Friday (althought it's Saturday here) I wanted to share something special with you. At my baby shower everyone put messages to Kara on washclothes and my neighbor (Meredith) sewed them together to make a blanket. It was my other neighbor, Tangela's idea. It turned out really cute, as you can see. The blank one in the corner is for me to put something. I am probably going to do her birthdate, weight, and inches. Speaking of inches, turns out she's only 20 inches long. They told us wrong at her birth. I had a paper that said 20 inches and then when she got measured at her appointment it turned out to be 20 rather than 21. So anyway, I wanted to share this lovely peice of work with you. I am going to hang it on her wall whenever I do the nursery. Whenever I do that I will post pics.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom -I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom -I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

What a wonderful joy it is to be a mother!

Proud to be (almost) Jaundice free!

What a sweet face. You can see the jaundice in her eyes.
I love this pic. She looks so cute.
Taking a nap on daddy.
Tinkerbell thinks Kara is her baby.

First I would like to say sorry I didn't update you sooner. At our last appointment we got good news. Her points had dropped only a little but enough to say she's out of the woods. I was overjoyed to know she wouldn't be getting her precious foot stuck anymore. She also went up in weight from 7lb 12oz to 8lb 1oz. We have her 2 week appointment today. I can't believe she's already been here for that long, however it seems we've never been without her. She's still a really good baby. She only cries when she's hungry, which is pretty often these days. I guess she must be going through some growth spurt. I will try my best to keep you up to date on her. Thank you for all your prayers.

Jaundice update

It seems Kara still has Jaundice pretty bad, but luckily they didn't readmit us. They said we could have the weekend to take her out in the sun and see if it would help. Her points went back up from a 16 to a 17. They said by Monday it has to be on a downward turn or we will end up back in the hospital. I am trying to think as positive as I can. We have taken her on a walk each day and are going again today. On a happier note her weigh went back up from 7lb 9oz to 7lb 12oz.; she had lost too much weight last visit. We have an appointment tomorrow at 2pm to determine what they are going to do. I have a good feeling, thinking it will all be okay. If you would please continue the prayers for her. Thank you so much!!




And for your enjoyment here's a few pics from Friday:

You can tell she doesn't feel too great here, but her eyes were open!!

A sleeping princess
She likes to chew on her baby dolls face. LOL

Jaundice stinks!

Under the lights.

Her eye protection, wasn't it pitiful?

It seems our sweet baby suffers from the dreaded jaundice. We went for an appointment on Monday to learn that she had it so bad we had to be admitted into the hospital. It was so scary. She had to be under some blue lights at all times besides when I was feeding her or changing her diaper. I hated every minute of it. I was so depressed and upset, having to watch her in there and not being able to comfort her when she would cry. Luckily she's a wonderful baby and doesn't do that very often. She slept for the most part. It also stunk having to be away from home, Nick,and Maddy. She had to get her blood taken out of her foot several times. It was so sad, she would just cry and cry. One night they had to fill 3 tubes so it took them 20 minutes of milking her foot to get it out. I was almost in tears myself. I did my best to stay calm so she wouldn't get more upset. It was heart wrenching. Luckily we got to come home yesterday afternoon. We have an appointment tomorrow afternoon to see what her status is. Please send up some prayers that she won't be readmitted. Hopefully her count with either have dropped or will be the same so she can come home with us to her comfort zone.

So glad to finally be leaving the hospital and hoping to get some SLEEP! Yes I know I look terrible, but it was a rough few days.

Her first stroller ride leaving the hospital!