She's laughing

Here's a video I took a few minutes ago of Kara laughing. She only does it when I act like I am going to eat her tummy. I usually talk in my "cookie monster" voice, but I tried not to embarrass myself too much. She is just getting to be so much fun! I love making her laugh and squeal. It's the best thing EVER!

I did it!!

I lost ALL my baby weight in just 3 months. That was so awesome to find out this morning. It was the first time I had stepped on the scale in a week. Last week I still had 2 pounds to go. I am so excited about this. However, I still have a lot of toning up to do. I am well on my way to getting my body back the way I want it. I have been eating a lot healthier and only eating snacks with 100 calories or less. My favorite dessert is sugar free fudge pops. They are awesome and only 40 calories. You gotta try them. It helps when you have a chocolate craving. I have been eating smaller portions also which seems to be helping. Just wanted to share some of my joy. Have a great day!

For Grandpa Hayes

My father in law loves curious George. How funny is it that Kara now has the nickname "monkey". So we were strolling the BX today only to find a new rack of Curious George books. So I showed one of them to Kara and she got so excited. She was squealing and smiling (I wish she would have done it more in the video). Therefore I had to get the book. We came home and I made this video before reading her the book. She loved the book so much I may just have to go back and buy every title they have! So there you go Randey another grandchild that will adore you and Curious George. We seem to have a Curious Kara on our hands. LOL

Her first ponytail

How cute are these pictures? I was so excited to get her hair up in a ponytail. She didn't even try to pull it out!!! The first pics are from early this week. The last one is from yesterday. I just can't resist it, so cute!

Longing

Some days are harder than others when you have lost a child or anyone for that matter. Today was actually going rather well, but I got to thinking about my little boy and now it just feels hard. Hard to get motivated, hard to think of anything else, but him. My beautiful boy that never got to look in my eyes or I into his. I miss him.

Having Kara has made me miss him even more. I don't mean it in a bad way. It's just ever since I have had her to experience motherhood with, I have felt the loss even deeper. I now realize all the things I missed out on without him. I know how wonderful it feels to have your child all snuggled up with you. How sweet a smile can be, how much you don't want to do without them. Sure I felt sad about these things before, but I had no idea just how wonderful and rewarding these things can be. I had imagined what Conner's life would have been like when I still had him kicking inside me. I dreamt of his sweet smile, first day of school on through his wedding day. I still have images in my mind of what life would have been like for him. I make up his life in my head. Is that crazy? No it's not. It's therapy. It lets me know that he will live on. As long as I live he lives. I will never let his memory fade. He will always be my first born, my sweet boy, my angel. I long to be somewhere today and I want to share that place with you.

Here is where my sweet boy was buried. In the picture you can see a mail box. My mom made it so that we can leave letters. Maddy loves leaving letters for her brother. She brought the gazing ball to him also. As you can tell he has a special little spot that is all for him. I long to be there to feel close to him. I know he isn't there spiritually, but his body is. I feel a certain closeness to him when I go there. Unfortunately, I have only been a few times. This pic was taken last summer on my visit home. I went to visit and brought him the vase of flowers with the superman S on it. I made it myself. I won't get to visit there until December. I want to take Kara there and tell her about her brother. Sure she already has been told about him. I kept a bear from one of his floral arrangements and gave it to her. I told her it's her Conner bear. I hope she will always treasure it. I want her to grow up knowing about him. That way he can live on in her also. I took a picture of her with the bear a few weeks ago.

I can hardly believe that Conner would have been 2 1/2 years old. It is amazing to me. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday, when I held him close. No matter how much time goes by I will always remember the special moments I had with him. I miss him so much that it literally hurts my heart, but I am thankful that I had him and would do it all over again, just for those moments.

SHE makes me smile:)

Look how big those feet look!
About to laugh
Pretty girl

My favorite
Sweet girl!
K is for Kara
She's a drooler
Give me the camera, Mommy!

Just a FEW of the pics I took today. She was such a good little model. Awww! More to come in my next post. Sorry if you get tired of my endless pictures. Her family is missing out on her life right now and want to see her. Have a great day and thanks for visiting!!

Blissful day

Today had to be one of the best days I have had in a while. It started with me getting to sleep in. Both Kara and the dogs were still asleep when I woke up at 8:45. It was so nice. Usually one of the two wakes me up and I feel so tired. I went and mailed out some boxes that I had been meaning to get out. Then we went to the Disney/character store off base, where I found Kara a Care Bear suitcase. It is too cute!

At about 4pm, I got a call about my dining room table I had for sale. The lady came to look at it and decided she wanted it. So we loaded it up in her van. Now I am $100 richer!! Whoo Hoo!!

Kara and I played tonight while listening to sweet music. Including this one, which made me cry:
http://http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=SzmgAM8rIgo

Then I read her a few stories and put her to bed at 9pm. She has got to where she will put herself to sleep. I just lay her in her bed and she plays until she's ready to go to sleep. It is so awesome. So after I put her to bed, I took a nice warm bath. I used some really great bath salts too that smell like lavender. It was so very relaxing. Now I am going to blog a bit and then hit the sack.



PS I wanted to share a sweet moment from last night's story time:

While I read Bambi to Kara, I noticed that my two dogs (missed a pic of Tink) and cat were listening in too. It was a very sweet rewarding moment for me. I truly felt like a Disney character myself reading to all the little animals. :) Kara's quilt had fallen on the floor and Chloe took full advantage, see her in the background? The next picture is a close up of her.

Here is Anakin all cozy under her little table that has the lamp on it. I know I promised pics of the nursery but I am not totally done with it yet. Whenever I do finish I will post some, I promise!

For her Dada

This video was so cute I had to share it. Enjoy!

Patriotism

I have been racking my brain on what to post this week for Brenda's Photo Challenge. It's not really hard to post about Patriotism, just to find the pictures to go along with what I have to say. The first picture is of the cake I made for the 4th of July. I had all intentions of it looking wonderful, dressed in red, white, and blue (there is supposed to be a star on the top). It was going great until I started putting the second layer and then it all fell apart. But the only thing that mattered was I tried. I tried showing my patriotism with a cake. To show my pride for the red, white, and blue. I can't tell you how much you start to appreciate the USA after living in a foreign land. It makes you realize just how wonderful we have it. What a great place we have to call home. Home of the free and the brave.
The next picture is of one of the crews my husband deployed with a few years ago. These are just a few of the many men and women out there fighting for our country. How lucky we are to have people like them willing to sacrifice their lives for our freedom. They have the most selfless job you could ever possibly have. They put their lives on the line for you and me. I am so thankful for these people and I couldn't be prouder to call one of them my husband (pictured on the far left). Thank you to all our service members for what you do. We can never thank you enough.
And for my last picture, the most precious one for me, my husband and daughter on the 4th of July. This was taken just 2 days before we had to send him on a plane to join the fight once again. I have to tell you that was the most patriotic thing I have ever seen; watching my husband tell our daughter goodbye. It was truly heartbreaking watching a grown man cry because he was going to miss out on a few months of his newborns life. (He will hate I blogged that!) To make it even more special, he volunteered for it. Yes I know I through a fit about it, but through it all I am proud. He always says he would rather go himself than see someone else go. That is true patriotism.

She thinks she's the baby!

Just a few minutes ago I decide to put Kara in her bouncy seat that is upstairs. I go in the room and this is what I saw:

Chloe is something else. She is always wanting to find a comfortable place to lay. Silly Cat!!!