Her release

Losing a sibling at a young age is very hard. I know this because I lost my brother at 3 years old and I have watched Maddy deal with Conner's death. She has talked to me about it a lot, sometimes I think more than she does anyone else. I feel maybe she does that because she knows that I too lost a little brother. She has asked me so many questions that have just about tore my heart out. I always try to answer without getting upset, but she knows the pain, sometimes she cries too. Here are a few of the things she has said to me in the past: Do you think Conner has friends in heaven? I bet he does, he has his uncle Jeremy with him. Do you think Conner is watching us right now? Does he hear me when I talk? Can I talk to him? I miss my brother. My brother is superboy. The list is endless.

Everyone deals with death differently. Maddy uses drawing to help her. These are a few examples of things she has done in honor of her brother. Too, too sweet...

The first one she drew on Conner's 2nd birthday. We had just came home from letting his balloons go and I saw her writing in her notebook. This is what the picture says: Today was my brother Conner's birthday and he is turning two years old. It is also sad because he died on that very day. My step mom is laying on my dad and everyone was so happy and so sad.

This next one was just a random drawing she did of him in his superboy outfit. The top says Be handsome.

These last two are from her diary not too long after we lost Conner. I know it may be wrong of me to have ripped the pages out of it but I knew that she would lose the diary (Maddy is known for losing things) and would appreciate seeing the sweet letter she wrote about her brother down the line. It says: Dear Diary, I miss my brother. I wish he was here. Love, Maddy, Mom, and Dad. The picture is supposed to be him flying above her. Keep in mind she was 6 years old when she wrote and drew these two. It's just heartbreaking.

Here are some more pictures she drew. I wanted to add them because they are so cute! The first one is supposed to be me. She had me pegged scrapbooking and a purple dress! The Second one is a pic of her daddy. He is her hero. She signed the bottom: love, Maddy Madalynn the Goblin Queen. She was named after a comic book hero called the Goblin Queen, poor baby! And the last one is a chalk drawling of a ladybug she did this past year in school. It is very cute!

Monnie Monkey

This is Kara's newest editon to her monkey collection. Her granny and grandpa sent him last week. I went through a list of about 15 names before she would smile at me. So she picked his name: Monnie Monkey. She loves him so very much. All I have to do is say, "Where's Monnie Monkey?" and she gets happy. Thank you granny and grandpa for Monnie the monkey!!!

Anakin, you aren't the baby either!!!

He looks so darn cute and little, makes me want to hug him!

These animals are so silly. Chloe is always in Kara's bouncy seat and now I have found Anakin in the car seat. It was the funniest thing. The car seat was sitting by the door and he was just sitting in there like he belonged. He didn't want to get out of it. I didn't have the heart to kick him out of it.I have been feeling really bad lately about the animals. They are all used to having a lot more attention then they have been getting. Chloe misses Maddy and the dogs miss Nick. I almost constantly have one of them(or all three) at my feet wanting me to pet them or play with them. I feel guilty for not spending more time with them. I am usually spending most of my time with the baby or trying to clean house. I will be so glad when Nick gets back and life can get a little more normal and I will be able to have some help around here. It can be stressful at times with the baby and the animals all wanting my attention. Kara of course comes first. So for now my pets will have to get used to that. All three of them have been acting up since Nick left. Having accidents in the floor (even the cat, who is litter trained) and getting into things. I feel bad because I get so angry at them. I keep trying to tell myself they are upset and that's why, but it is so frustrating at times. Well, I will stop my complaining for now I have to get to bed. Have a great day!

This was the other night, they are never too far from me.

Still not sure of Missy Monkey....

The pictures say it all she's so funny when that monkey is in her sight. Maybe she will like her better when she's older. HOPEFULLY!!

An anniversary suprise!!!

As you can imagine the thought of spending my 5 year wedding anniversary had me sad and depressed. Luckily this far Nick and I have never been apart on our anniversary, until now. The 5th one at that. But being the sweet man he is, he still managed to make my day. I got this lovely bear in the mail yesterday(with the help of my mother in law). She's from Build a Bear and her name is BinkerTell Lavender. How funny is that? (As you probably know my favorite color is purple and Disney character is Tinkerbell. ) Then today I got these lovely flowers. They really are so beautiful and smell wonderful. My entire down stairs smells great. When the lady came to the door with the flowers I was in awe. I got them inside and tears were welling up until I saw this:

and then I burst into laughter. You gotta love the language barrier around here. It says Jodid instead of Jodie and Nichonlas instead of Nicholas. Too funny. I laughed for a good while about it. It all made for quite a good day. Happy Anniversary my love, I love you with all my heart<3!!!

Numbers

This weeks photo challenge was numbers!! At first I was stumped. What could I do that no one else was doing? I figured the phone would be a pretty popular choice, but decided on it anyway. Of course having a baby, I have toys all over so I realize it would be cool to use her phone with her eyes in the mirror. It didn't turn out quite as well as I intended, but I still think it's pretty cool! In the second picture, I kind of cheated but I have to tell you why. Today was my 5th wedding anniversary so I had to add something pertaining to that. I am also using it as part of my gift to my husband. I tried to guesstimate the number of smiles we've had, like 3 for each day of our marriage. It was pretty fun and cute! The last picture, turned out really cool. It is just a piece of plain old scrapbook paper, but it fit perfect with the numbers theme. So there you have it my post for this week. I can't wait to find out what next weeks challenge will be?!?!?!?!

Daddy's eyes

My new obsession!

For years I have been mesmerized by pictures just like this. I have always thought it was so cool. But even at Sears it cost like 5 extra dollars a picture so I've never had any like this. So finally, with the assistance of my friend Amy, I figured out how to do it on Photoshop. I have been playing with it all night. It is so much fun. Don't you just love it?

Our little Sooner

Kadena Erin

Just wanted to introduce you to Kara's bear Kadena Erin:

Her Granny and Grandpa Hayes made her at Build a Bear workshop. She got the name Kadena after our base (My FIL's idea) and Erin so she would have the same initials (My MIL's idea) as Kara Elizabeth. I love her little outfit a mix of mine and her granny's favorite colors!

Thank you Granny and Grandpa for this lovely addition to my nursery. Love you bunches- KARA XOXO