Alternate, yeah that's me

So as you can tell by the title, I was given an alternate position. I know I said what is meant to be will happen so here I am an alternate. I was thinking it may be a good thing since I have Maddy worry about, but now I am not so sure. Now I don't know what my schedule is, I won't know day to day. What happens when they call me at 5am to come to work and I don't have anyone to get Maddy on the bus? Or they call me to go on an afternoon route that doesn't get back until 4pm after Maddy would already be home? I am not guaranteed to be on the bus that goes to her school. There are several bases on this island that the buses go to. So now I feel really frustrated. What do I do? My schedule will be different every time I work. I am also concerned about forgetting all my "rules" that I have to follow. It is easy when you do a job everyday, but when you bounce around here and there it can be easy to forget what you are doing. At our training, they kept bringing up all kinds of reasons how you could be terminated. If you don't find the fake bomb they plant on your bus, if you touch a child, if you don't handle things the way they think you should, etc. Trust me they have more rules for you than they do the students. Seriously. And they contradicted themselves several times. So now I feel even more nervous than I did before. I assume they give you a position as an alternate in the belief that you will always be available. That when they call, you need to be ready to work and drop whatever plans you may have. That is really not the way I work. I like to know what I am doing before I do it. I am not too much of a spontaneous person. I like plans; I like schedules. So now I feel really stuck. They say you will get plenty of work as an alternate, which is great, but I now have a child to worry about because Nick isn't always here. I can't depend on him to be able to be here to get her on and off the bus everyday. As a matter of fact he will be gone for a few weeks in September. What am I going to do then? I can't very well put her in an after school program when I don't know when she will need to go there and when she won't. Not only that but they have a waiting list, so they don't have any openings as of now. I feel very angry right now. Why couldn't they have let me know this last week so that I could have figured out what to do. Rather than telling me three days before school starts. To make matters worse, they said they have four people that will be out Monday but didn't go ahead and tell me that I will be working. I guess they will wait until Monday morning for that. Part of me wants to tell them to find someone else, but another part of me is upset that I would be losing they type of job I have been wanting for over three years (no I don't mean with the school bus, I mean government). So if anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears. Send them my way.